Day-027-A Stew is born

"A determination not to change my attitude or position on something in spite of good arguments or reasons to do so"

Arguments mean that there is a polarity between different points of view. ANd on top of that it must be determined if the arguments are 'good'. Who is going to do that? The ones producing the arguments? It cannot be denied that before anything else this is about good and bad, conviction and arguments. This is above all a match. There has to be a winner and a looser so there will be friction. Friction means that somewhere something has to create this friction. This is where I usually call my good friend Stubborn.

To change my attitude would imply that I must be willing to investigate the world around me with the purpose to understand why things are the way they are so I can investigate why I am what I am who I am. If I would do this I would soon find myself investigating and looking at the way things work and how I ended up in this particular version of myself within reality. Would I call myself stubborn at this point? Maybe within the point of not wanting to give up my quest or truth finding mission despite the advice of people around me that think looking for answers is a luxury commodity. I agree on that one.

Stubbornness as I live it always starts with self interest towards a point and then that point has to be defended for whatever narcissistic reason. A psychologist would say EGO. Of coarse and what is ego more than defending that what it thinks it is. Let me have a look.

I was not a stubborn baby so where did this whole thing come from? At some point I must have decided to use the word 'no' merely for the sake of saying 'no'. Maybe because my mother spoke it to me and I simply imitated her. 

I have a daughter and observed this phase where she discovered the word 'no' and it was within the same period she started to connect objects to people. We live in our house, they live in theirs. That's my bed and that's your bed. Its at this point she started to realize that the world around her is constructed out of  relationships. Every object connected to another object and the closest ones where those in her direct vicinity and that included me and her mother. The ones that used the word 'no' very often. 

How do I experience myself within my environment if I'm told 'no' a lot of times wile I'm curious about my surroundings and busy exploring this reality I find myself in?

At this point simply mimicking my parents behavior would already be considered stubbornness. From my point of view this 'yes/no' play out between parents and children lays the foundation for a pattern that becomes very much part of the person thus persona. Stubbornness thus is part of the identity that determines and differentiates peoples characters. My stubbornness is specific because it will be related to what I consider 'my reality'. Anyone questioning that is indirectly questioning me so I will respond to that like being attacked. I will fortify myself with stubbornness.

I am questioned and that means I would have to give answers. Take self responsibility for my stand points and thus question my self definitions and painfully enough those self definitions have become me. I stopped questioning them and that's why it's confronting if someone else does. It now has become a battle of ego. The unwillingness to change who I am as my accepted and allowed self definitions. 

Especially within the situation where someone else is showing me how I exist within this point. Where the stubbornness itself is directly addressed instead of being part of the play out between two stubborn people the stubbornness can then become a complete possession. I have heard myself talking crap not able to stop myself. Its like watching a psycho horror thriller and not being allowed to look away. It's a horrible experience but to give up my self definitions and face the unknown is even more scary. Thank god I learned how to be stubborn.

So how do I live stubbornness? Its part of my personality. My personality is al I 'think' I have as who I am. This is me as all my strings attached to the outside world. And somewhere I have decided that this is it. No more strings. This is me and this is my religions. This is where I am god and these strings belong to me and I am the one that pulls them. You can pull my strings but I will not accept the removal or questioning of them. My stubbornness as the fear of loosing these strings of information is defending the shape and size of who I am. This is how you see me. Part of all decisions made. My stuborness does not stand alone it's a premium member of my committee of self interest.

All decisions I made. Positive negative it made no difference. Stubbornness is part of me as my fear of reality. My fear of death as me the unknown, fear of change. Stubbornness is giving more value to my thoughts than this physical reality. Stubbornness is part of the ego trip and that's 'me' you see.

Day-012-I do perceive here a divided duty. Othello. ACT I Scene 3

The moment I finish my coffee I see the character that is my private self take a deep breath and leave the house to enter the world stage. Often that deep breath is my private character (the one I'm most comfortable with) realizing it has a few hours ahead to play as another character. And so my days are filled with acting out scripts that my mind as the director presents me with. I realize there is no self direction what so ever. Every scene I play is coming from the main character I call me. Where I hear myself say sorry that's typically me or I'm sorry that's how I am. Moments of total integration with the main character. A being in character.

In acting school they have a name for it called method acting. Becoming the character. What does that make me before I go into character, before another character? Where does it end? Is there a me or is it simply my mind presenting me with countless scripts and storyboards to choose from on a stage where I interact with billions of other actors?

From where or what do I go into character? If I'm not in character then what am I and where am I? It's a very cool point to look at because looking out into my world I see only projections of the characters I'm creating as reactions. My days are like a chain of improvisational sketches with the occasional passages I did memorize as I play 'the professional'. Within this I realize that growing up is ACTually going to acting school and working was the first serious role I played. I play the role of the father, lover, devil, demon, looser, etc. Played them all. My whole life is one big role playing game without ever realizing I was doing it. Totally forgot/suppressed what it is like to experience being here as breath without a script. What it is like to not re-act but to take action. The simplicity of walking by placing one foot after the other.

Isn't it completely absurd to look around and see that I'm only fucking acting out without ever realizing that this is not life. That I'm busy playing out predetermined scripts. I created so many characters I lost count a long the way and now I'm lost in wonderland talking to a rabbit.

I find myself lying on the couch as this lost character talking to a another character that plays the shrink. It's about time I start asking myself if all this acting I do is actually bringing forth something that is best for all? Can I ask myself? because that's like asking the director to give me another role to play.

Where do I start? How do I get to that point where I stop writing characters from the same alphabet to create scripts that have already been played by my other act-ore's a billion times? When do I act accordingly? Do I realize that nothing I do is act-u-all original in anyway? This realization for example is coming from me the character playing the observer. There is no realness here, I'm pixelated, recorded, projected and lost in the script presented by the internet at this very moment.


"I have to stop my thoughts" - character - it's a character because "I HAVE to stop MY thoughts" - then there's an I and a My and a "have to" - in this character, does one then ever really stop thoughts? The difference between character and Here, is a doing/living action in the moment, so whenever there is a statement instead of immediate application: you're creating a character" -


Sunette Spies


I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge all and everything as real not seeing realizing and understanding that all I see is characters forming words that make up the scripts that define the actors that live up and play to generate the pixels of reality where I'am lost within the play as the characters I play with.

I commit myself to observe myself as the characters I play in order to identify my ACTions to stop acting and become real as breath to remain here as breath and forgive myself for the creation of characters that cause physical harm as my projections of and as reality.

Links:
Breaking Character by Jozien Fokkert
Here

Personality suits by Heath Ledger
Part 1
Part 2

My life as a character by Maya Harel
Here

Stepping out of Character by Bernard Poolman
Here

Day-011-The phonetic mantra of bohemian rhapsody's

Who am I within the word fanatic?
Someone made a 'joke' regarding me reciting mantra's phonetically because I was to lazy to learn them. Calling them cellphone calls for quick ascension lol. Indeed my quick ascension never took place. So I probably prevented myself from some sort of (brain)damage by not reciting myself into eternal bliss which is quite a joke in itself.

I have been on a few 'spiritual' endeavors where I found myself completely lost within the Vedic spiritual tradition. Within that I was introduced to the concept of mantra quite early. The Vedic tradition and the east in general has a strong emphasis on mantra and there is a 'good' reason for that. Its a powerful recipe for brainwashing. It's like a neurolinguistic turbo charger and within that application It's used multi purposely for anything. From Nazi propaganda to learning thousands of religious verses to learning math to memorizing extremely long musical patterns etc. etc. You could say that everything you rehearse/repeat within a certain frequency/rhythm is a mantra.

So I ended up legs crossed, fasting, hungry with a teacher that says "Repeat after me":

'nadanada-didanada-nana-dadigidigidumdumdumdum-dagadagadedude-dudedede-dudedede-adedodamdo-dam-etc…

Practical stuff when you are a percussionist who plays with two hands + ten fingers in various settings with no paper to write on. A mind fuck if you recited yourself into an office cubicle/cave with your ass freezing off or your head on the keyboard only to realize that the cave or cubicle is still there after your return from nirvana in the head.

We learn learn shit by repeating (repetition). It's not exceptional to have musical pieces in india that have a 36 up to a 128 bar rhythmic basis. Compare that to a four bar basic disco beat and an alleluia and you get the picture. To state that 'Bohemian rhapsody' is a complex song would make a lot of young musicians in india scratch their heads (although they have a hard time grasping Freddy Mercury when he sings 'to open your eyes and to see that there is no escape from reality' so let's learn from each other here).

The fan in the attic
The spiritual product I bought into belonged to one of the oldest musical traditions in India, rooted in sound and mantra while I come from a tradition of little discipline and do what the fuck you like when you like it. Trying to merge the two cultures proofed to be a challenge. I listened, I tried and tried again and couldn't get the shit down. There I sat looking around humming along with other light seeking beings from the West trying to sound enlightened.

So within that I realize that I actually prevented myself from brainwashing myself to a certain extend by not knowing what the fuck I was chanting about and being to fucking lazy to find out, humming phonetically something that sounded like mantra's. Looking back on it I can only smile seeing how utterly lost I was. As I lay in bed pondering on these points the word phonetic opened up like this:

 i-Phone-Tic-Fan-Attic-Phonetic-Fanatic-The Fan in the attic.

Combining aspects of these words from the dictionary gives me a few interesting perspectives.

- speech sounds
- detailed phonetic information
- symbols and sounds
- phonetic training
- speaking communicating
- excessive and single-minded
- extreme religious or political
- obsessive interest in and enthusiasm for something
- inspired by a god
- possession by a god or demon
- an apparatus with rotating blades that creates a current of air for cooling or ventilation
- a person who has a strong interest in or admiration for a particular sport, art form, or famous person
- space or room just below the roof of a building

So within how I defined this word there is me as the one making a call, praying and searching for information, being a fanatical fan becoming possessed as I spiral out of control where I single-mindedly loose myself within and as religious adoration for things I define as bigger then me. My believes become all I have and form the God-Demon people, friends, lovers, relations I call my personality that I live out to a point of becoming the fanatic constantly as me franticly communicating chaotically while expressing myself creatively, egocentrically and artistically.

Ask anybody who knows me and they will confirm and describe a few of the points mentioned because the points stick out as the spikiness that's me. I'm that bee in the hive and this my behavior. This is the core actor you meet. It's my character the caricature of me as this world It's what I have accepted to become within as the world without.

The picture that came up was also fascinating. I saw a classical fan hanging in the attic at the highest point in the house spraying a thick spiritual fog through the house that made it impossible for me to see where I lived within this physical reality that is my body. That highest point in the house as within chakra psychology representing the seventh chakra on top of the skull and the lowest point being the basement as the tailbone thus my entire body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become a fanatical personality and within that become automated, a machine that has to be fanatical within and as everything I do

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see realise and understand what it means to slow down and embrace myself as the limitations I create by being fanatical and not allowing myself the experience of being at ease with myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be in relationships in which I would find common ground within the same religious obsessions and fanatical behavior in order to feel accepted and not take responsibility for my own words and deeds

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within being fanatical not give myself the gift of patience and making mistakes in order to experience that failing can be without self judgement and is about falling and standing up to walk the correction

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to harm other beings in my world by ignoring my own observations within being and becoming possessed at the cost of others as the fanatic that did not stop until al was destroyed

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see realise and understand that by being fanatical I'm always and only operating as ego and within that I will take nothing into consideration and only serve my best interest at the cost of others  always

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become the fanatical consumer seeing myself always wanting to have more and within that I always want to have the best things, seeing realizing understanding that within the consumer model there is no 'best thing' because the 'best thing' would be what is best for all instead of what I want.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become fanatic within sports where I tried to compensate my inferiority by amplifying my urge to win realizing and understanding that by participating within the point of winning I was only creating more separation as the winner opposed to the looser.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to let fear and paranoia of making mistakes as the male ego become the main motivators for me to move myself in this world thus creating a starting point of stress and anxiety as me as the fanatic striving for perfection and fanatically trying to live up to those self created images seeing realizing and understanding that it is impossible to live up to picture projections and within that I forgive myself for hiding out of fear of making mistakes and to be seen as imperfect

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe perfection exists within me as the mind when only the physical as the flesh can claim any authority within that point for I as the mind can never be more perfect than the physical

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become a fanatical perfectionist within and as the mind as a projection of perfectionism seeing realizing and understanding that perfection as a concept/projection/perception implies I also accept imperfection to exist and within that I see that perfection can only exist as physical action within the best interest of all

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see realize and understand that I as the fanatic limited myself by not allowing myself to slow myself down seeing and understanding that my fanatical behavior is often me as the mind trying to understand with the mind what can not be understood by the mind creating friction as energy as mind possessions where I allow myself to become completely fanatic

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react energetically to authority to advertisements and observations, parents, friends, teachers, the educational system, doctors, psychologists, the industry, society, fellow consumers that saw/see me as a fanatic and dysfunctional/sick child having an 'illness' like: adhd, asperger, pdd, authism or whatever label beings have put on me without seeing realizing and understanding that the origin of my behavior existing within and as me as the mind is always an outflow/projection of the world I accepted to exist outside.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fanatically defend my limitations and then switch to bravado to hide behind using my male ego

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become a fanatical lover and wanting to be perfect within that point as the lover

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become the fanatical partner, hiding within my relationships projecting my own shit on my partners creating more turmoil instead of taking self responsibility and giving to my partners as I would have like to receive

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fanatically defend my own believes and become intolerant to other peoples viewpoints or perspectives always skeptical, cynical, questioning, discussing and projecting/defending my own standpoints and if necessary manipulate people within debate in order to come out on top as the winner or at least get the energetic rush of feeling like one.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to loose the ability to listen and respond with common sense limiting myself, excommunicating myself within and as the turbulence as the fan in the attic

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel disgusted with myself within seeing myself existing within and as the horror I create as the fan in the attic, as the fanatic creating turbulence instead of remaining here as breath within every moment

Day 004-All astray

All ash trays - ashes to ashes - dust to dust - Am I?
I was a serious believer in a 'god almighty' and within that I loved to debate about god and his creation with people. On Facebook I keep running into believers and sometimes I find myself in a conversation with a religious person although I urge myself to avoid those. Religious people tend to monolog and advertise religion instead of debating and reasoning about what they actually state as the truth so help them god. What's fascinating and stands out for me when speaking with most religious people is how they answer straight questions. Or should I say 'do not'. Yesterday I responded to a few religious one-liners someone placed online and this whole thing opened up. I reacted because the words 'lost souls' where used which are demons from a christian perspective as they where from my perspective. This is what was placed:

If you can save even one lost soul
Your name is on his attendance roll
If you can truly learn to be his guide
His mercy will flow from his wounded side
If you maintain to be a peace maker
He will forever be your caretaker
If you remain in his love of all things above
His spirit will surely come and rest upon you like a dove

My response was:
How do I dentify a soul and within that a lost one? How can I save that which is all ready lost? How can I make peace if peace cannot exist because we exist in separation? Why do people avoid the tough questions that would require oneself to rethink and change believes?

[S]
You are toughly prejudiced...have to change to be convinced...you need an identification...of God's justification...then you will never exist in separation...I cannot change my belief...which turns my distress into relief...it is purely a matter of choice...things will change when you get to hear his voice ...for the lord forces himself on none...his loving kindness draws towards him his people one by one...!!!

[me]
If you cannot change a believe you are stuck in your mind and highly manipulatable. That's the whole construct that is used within elitism within the world system where a few profit from the many as Jezus explained as he was not a religion! We believe he is and made him into one. This brought us evil because from that moment we where locked within the mind [as religion]. The only way to set yourself free is to do as Jezus did and become the living word instead of a follower of believes!
See for yourself where you place yourself within your own words as a believer that refuses to question his own believes. Do I teach that construct to my children than what will happen? What do you say to a child raised by the wolves? Is that child guilty or innocent? What does not speak your language do you separate that from who you think you are?

Only I am able within self honesty to see how I exist within my own words and deeds and constructed believes and lies. Within that I will never be able to see my own constructs if I am living as them. Remember we where born within a program without believes so where do believes come from? Who is it that accept and allows what we believe? These are real questions one needs to take responsibility for towards oneself before believing what so ever! Questions that trigger resistance are always fear and fear is the sole reason why people believe! Jezus showed us what happens if you brake that chain. None of us within whatever believe system is braking that chain hence the state of hope we are in. Hope lives in the mind!

[S]
There seems to be a self contradiction...there seems to a fear in a change of your situation...if you say fear is the sole reason to believe...I can truly conceive to perceive...because the fear of the lord is the beginning of wisdom...without his righteousness no one can see his kingdom...I think myself to be a child of God... chosen and adopted by his own accord...we have a hope of a life even after death...because Jesus is alive and living today we need to breathe in his breath...!!!

[me]
What is fear of the lord more than fear of some-thing you believe? As you believe you are a child of god and hope of a life after death because Jezus is alive. Let's stay with the facts here. Jezus is dead our believes of him are alive. Your believes keep you alive, are they life? To be a child of 'god' makes you a child of this world (OUR CREATION) A world of separation. Hoping the past will come in the future within the mind as hope is completely denying what is here as our reality which is separation through believes. What a-fortunate-lie, is reality.

I commit myself to breath here within reality to remain here in this moment and not lose myself within the mind where I become victim of my own projections that become accepted and allowed believes I will manifest as personality instead of living action.

[S]
I beg to differ here...my conceptions are very clear...If Jesus were dead as you want to say...life would be chaotic people running wild in their own wickedness falling astray...we have learned to trust and obey...Oh lord may thy will be done not mine as you have your way...!!!
Faith is important for man to be going...without faith and hope I find no reason to be living...!!!
I live my life by saying "it could have surely been worse"...and that rids me of every strand of curse...!!!

[Me] (at this point starting to feel reactions within myself as irritation)
You refuse to look at reality as it is [S]. We have learned to trust and obey all right. The question is what happened after that? Is creation what you describe it to be? Is life balanced and equal? Is creation an expression of enjoyment where all have equal means to express themselves without friction and conflict? To turn your words into a mirror. Life is chaotic, people are possessed and wickedness RULES the world as competition and within that we are all astray!

- [wasn't that what Jesus demonstrated so dramatically?] -

To believe you are an exception is an absolute elitist acceptance which makes sense because you have a solid and boxed believe which you place outside the realm of reality where only you as personality as perception exist. It's not complicated. Believe is not real. Reality is real. Or If reality is real our believes can not be. We tend to overcomplicate the obvious because we fear.

[S]
Even the Bible gives a true revelation...Satan is ruling the world who denies this conviction...he is crouching at the door ...with his craftiness for people to devour...if people were all made to be equal standing on the same footage...with similar faces of one heritage...wouldn't there be more of chaos and utter confusion...without any recognition or identification...I would dare to challenge for all look alike to make a striking position...jealousy will eat them like a vicious snake...then life can never have a replay neither a retake...!!!

[me]
Now read what you just wrote. Projecting statements from the past onto the future totally avoiding the present. More chaos less chaos. One Adam two Adams! Eve would have children! So according to you, suffering is acceptable because your believes make it quantifiable? I bit more for him and less for her because the bible tells you too. The all forgiven god seems to keep a shadow account. A newborn dying of aids can only be justified within cultist or brainwashed believes. Common sense would rule out any justification. In reality it make no sense. If an all forgiven god would exist this example proofs the god is not all forgiven and I'm brainwashed to the point I will abuse others in the name of faith. To know water is to know ice as god and satan are the two sides of a single believe. To accept one you have to accept the other for they would not exist within equality!

STOP

etc. etc. If I didn't stop myself here, this religious ping pong could last for years. So I'm going to look at my reactions and see where I reacted because reaction equals the things I fear myself. First of all there is the general irritation I feel because straight questions do not get straight answers. I know christians who dare to say "I don't know". Which is a brave statement coming from a any fundamentalist believer. So it irritates me when I ask a question and that question is totally ignored. In other words no joint effort is made to find reason within the claims that are made. It almost always ends with: Yes but I believe…. Those words kills all reason and stand for total denial of what is here they take only the one who speaks them into consideration confronting me with the total possession of that person within and as his religious believes.

I always assumed that religion was to search for god. To search for meaning. To have questions answered. Because that's what religions do. They answer questions. Specific questions. I used to respect men of faith and their so called dedication. Dedication to what? I completely overlooked the fact that all religions dedicate themselves to and within a confined space. They set points of value. Points of interest. All within a simple mathematical equation that if you have lots of assets you have greater chance of making profit. By now we all know why the top of a pyramid has only one stone and that stone is covered in gold with only the heavens above. The rest is of no importance! The more power you collect the more momentum you gain the more you collect. A snowball never rolls uphill.

We are part of and inside a religious community or value system or box or culture or cult. We all reach planes of religious boxes in our life. In those moments you have little options. Remember the first time you realized there would come a time you would be old and grey and sick and where going to die of old age looking like a raisin? Same point. Within a system one move from one conception to deception to another. As with all believe systems one either leave the box which will allow one to look at the box, or one stay in the box and one doesn't. It's up too our god given 'free will' to decide. How is that for 'free' and 'will'? Within the box it's warm and things are orderly. The box is comfortable and you don't feel hungry. What we don't seem to realize is that all believes are one big box. The torture never stops. We are boxed in and as we live our lives in this chicken run that suffers beyond imagination we slowly pick away at the other chicks watched by the farmer without questioning our believes in regards to this hand that seems to feed us. It's the boiling frog equation.

The beautiful lie always wins from the honest truth because we all want food, a chicken run and a quick painless death. Hopefully we will live happily ever after, joined by angels or 666 virgins or heaps of Ganja or whatever picture presentation reward is waiting for me in 'THE FUTURE'. I realized I have to be aware of anything or any one that makes a promise or proposition towards the future starting with my own mind. Where is my future without me?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in a 'better' future

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a better future to god

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe god is responsible for my future

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that for me to have it better someone else will be worse

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that god and satan can only exist because I accepted and allowed myself to believe in one of them creating the other in the process

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create all kinds of projections regarding god and the heavens without ever realizing I was doing this all in my mind while earth was here to ground me all the time

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project my ideas and concepts of god on to other people even my child without realizing I never knew if anything I claimed had anything to do with reality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize I am responsible for teaching my child there cannot be anything bigger than you if you cannot factually see it and experience it within this physical reality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my hopes and prayers would be answered by some thing I never proved to be real for myself within common sense in this reality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my parents for not teaching me about reality not realizing that they where brainwashed by their parents as we are all brainwashed by our parents

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that school thought me about reality while in fact they only showed me the way to behave within the system not revealing the true nature of who I am as humanity which is a manipulative self centered species that will lie and deceive to get what it want's no matter what

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to train myself in the art of manipulation becoming the epiphany of manipulation towards the world around me in order to get things my way not realizing I was becoming my own prisoner within my mind

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value myself as and become the most important thing in this world making it almost impossible for myself to place myself one and equal with others no matter what they did or are doing

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not test my believes trough physical action in reality in order to experience their validity and transform them into practical knowledge instead of believes

2012 What if God was one of us?

12 21 12, 2012, 21 december 12, dec 12 2012, december 12 2011, december 12 doomsday, december 21 2012.

Yesterday as I was walking through a supermarket this song “what if god was one of us” played over the public adress system.

If God had a name what would it be?
And would you call it to his face?
If you were faced with him
In all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?
What if God was one of us? Tralalalalala etc. etc.

Being inside a supermarket this particular song hit me like a double brainfuck.

What if god was one us?
Shopping around like one of us?
What would be in his shopping chart?
Would he keep it for himself?
Would he pay with credit card?
Where comes his money from?
Would he sing a long with every song?

I almost forgot why I was in the supermarket because the lines Joan Osborn was singing came burning trough my ears. There I was inside that supermarket surrounded by people shopping. Countless brands and products. Everybody kind of in there own little shopping universe with there lives on display as buying behavior in their shopping charts. In the mean time being manipulated through music that is carefully selected to calm down and stimulate buying behavior. Who selected this song and what are it’s statistics as a shopping stimulator? Well it’s 2012 and god is obviously not one of us. I’m shopping around for a better life than my parents as God as one as us.

2012 shows me the end of 'times'. Where Santa became a fairytale. I 'grew' up. Where make belief became reality. Believe becomes humanity. Where we all loose innocence. Where reality becomes us as god as all of us. As above so below. That’s the end of time. Those are my 'end times'. Time is here inside this supermarket without delay. In my face as who I am. As what I have accepted and allowed myself to become as one of us. As you and me. Humanity.

So there I was observing that point of manipulation, judging it, judging myself. I heard myself puffing out a big sigh realizing I have a long way to goo as one of us. As one of the creators of this reality. My professional background as well as my personality is filled with these points of manipulation. I make money with it. I use it to get what I want. I define myself with it as who I am in this world. It's me doing this so you will do that. That’s the point. In self honesty I recognized it. I can because it exists within me as a part of me. Only in self honesty I am able to see it face it and share it.

Manipulation is a part of me and in this case it resonated very strongly within me. This has to stop. No more separation, no more believe systems. One practical system called Equal Money based on one simple principle called oneness and equality. The one and only solution...

That’s why I’m sharing myself here with you within this point. We have to stop manipulating ourselves and thus manipulating our children into becoming manipulators. We are the creators of this reality because we create reality. We are the ones who breed this existence into a reality of manipulation, greed and inequality. I will remember the next time my mind starts humming this song.

If God had a name what would it be?
Money

And would you call it to his face?
Call too face myself

If you were faced with him
In all his glory
Glory = power!

What would you ask if you had just one question?
Please forgive yourself?