Day-010-Who am I within the word 'intelligent'

What is intelligent? Does intelligence make me better, more valuable, more interesting? Does intelligence bring me down do earth? Does intelligence influence my behavior? Is intelligence a religion. Does it bring me closer to the truth? When am I dumb or intelligent? When I accumulate lots of 'bits' of knowledge and information does that make me intelligent? Can I hide behind the pretence this world is to complex for me to understand so I can remain separated and let separation exist?

intelligent |inˈtelijənt|
adjective
having or showing intelligence, esp. of a high level: Annabelle is intelligent and hardworking 
| an intelligent guess.


• (of a device, machine, or building) able to vary its state or action in response to varying situations, varying requirements, and past experience.


• (esp. of a computer terminal) incorporating a microprocessor and having its own processing capability. Often contrasted with dumb.


DERIVATIVES
intelligently adverb


ORIGIN 
early 16th cent.: from Latin intelligent- ‘understanding,’ from the verb intelligere, variant of intellegere ‘understand,’ from inter ‘between’ + legere ‘choose.’

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to ask the question, who am I within the word intelligence?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge the word intelligent as positive

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge the word dumb as negative

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use my (artificial) intelligence as the automaton as the mind to calculate solely to manipulate the world around me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I can use my intellect as the ability to write myself out in order to reflect upon my words as the expression of who I am within the word intelligent and allow myself to see common sense points within my reality where I misguide and manipulate myself through knowledge and information as intelligence

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become impressed, humbled, jealous and possessed hearing people speak with 'intelligence' and intelligent 'vocabulary' assuming that because people speak with authority they have authority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word intelligent as good

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the word dumb as bad

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spite the word intelligent within and as the aspect of being successful in this world, not seeing, realizing and understanding that projecting the word intelligence as spitefulness towards success meant separating myself from success

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect making money and becoming rich and independent to intelligence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see intelligence within others as a threat and within that allowed myself to react energetically within and as fear

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as dumb because I accepted and allowed myself to believe intelligence has something to do with being smart or having 'special' abilities, seeing realizing and understanding that within the system passing tests is about giving the right answers and showing desirable behavior not about understanding and doing what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to loose myself within the energetic charge of playing mind games with so called intelligent beings within the elitist point of feeling superior within a group, seeing realizing and understanding that this very act is separating myself from all as an elitist as knowledge and information as intelligence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within intelligence as strategic information used in order to win personal wars instead of using common sense within and as intelligence to see, realize and understand what I have to do and when to do it to get things done within the best interest of all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to from a standpoint of superiority classify myself as an intelligent and complex person.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the word intelligent to complexity allowing myself to develop a pattern of always making things unnecessary complex and blurry thus wasting time and not giving myself the opportunity/chance to see and thus act within and as common sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to classify myself as a complex person because others classified me as complex thus allowing myself to exist within and as the complex person thus allowing myself to judge others as simple.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe complexity exists.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live intelligence as gathering information creating a self defined user manual within my mind to deal with existence not seeing, realizing and understanding that existence as a whole is a pre programmed system based on the same knowledge and information available as lived by the ones before me and within that I realize that knowledge and information is the veil of reality as the mind that I have used in order to not have to face the reality of me as the very creator of such knowledge and information as 'intellect' to make myself be 'more' than the reality that is here, as myself, as the physical. Thus I commit myself to write out who I am as knowledge and information so that I ensure that I go self-forgiving the relationships formed with knowledge and information as 'who I am' and establish myself as the directive principle in every moment, instead of acting out of past patterns of knowledge and information that do not represent who I am here as the moment of breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see realize and understand that I'm limited in awareness as knowledge and information and thus have to question everything that comes up in my mind as intelligence and test this within the equation of equality in order to make sure my thoughts become aligned with what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see realize and understand that intelligence like any other 'program' has no value in itself other than computational power and that it is up to me the user of the computer to determine how to use that 'power'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I have valued knowledge and information more than my physical health thus accepting and allowing myself to drain my flesh of the life there is as me as flesh

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within communication use intelligence as knowledge and information to manipulate other beings into a state of confusion by getting under their skin

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within intellectual masturbation/entertainment producing strings of knowledge and information not realizing that what I'm doing is without any substance or practical application within this physical reality thus a complete waste of time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that intelligent means 'to understand' and that within the context of understanding I never understood who 'I' was within 'who I am' as knowledge and information and within that I see realize and understand that there is nothing original within my expression as knowledge and information.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be/become more like other people as knowledge and information not seeing realizing and understanding that 'intelligence' at this points becomes competition as 'manipulation' instead of 'understanding' because if I understand I will see that intelligence means to understand and act within the best interest of all.

I commit myself to use my intellect to expose myself as what I have accepted and allowed to become as intelligence as the mind as my personality and behavior

2012 Does the sound of silence becomes the roar of darkness?

12 21 12, 2012, 21 december 12, dec 12 2012, december 12 2011, december 12 doomsday, december 21 2012.

They say fear of the dark is a common fear among children. I think it's the other way round. That I as an adult am in full denial. That children reflect the horrors of me as 'this world' (my universe). Children show me the reality of what it means to grow up in this 'adult' world'. A world where you have to be 18 to enter.

My daughter is seven years old now. She's trying to make sense of something that has become totally senseless and there is so little I can do. Baby's being born into this world enter a reality beyond the horror made in Hollywood. The 'dark fear' travels with us. We as adults don't address it as such (that would be childish). However fear of the dark is usually not fear of the dark is it? We all know because our parents told us! In their heads they understood the concept. Fear of possible or imagined dangers thus not real. How come we all feel scared just the same? O yes, 'imagined dangers'. Up there in my head instead of looking were to walk. Tripping and falling into a coma and now they are going to cut me up and I'm not able to speak.

I remember moments I had as I child where I could see what was going on around me. Reality unfolding as this place I wanted to escape but couldn't. Trying to share my fears with my parents unable to communicate what it was that scared me so much. I see it now. I see it within some children. I'm confronted with it through the walls of my house. I'm afraid of the dark because within darkness there is only me and I'm not sure what that is? How can I be? Nothing here but nothing. Me as this never ending stream of thoughts from the past. The well never dries. The only way is to shut it up. Close the tap.

Sometimes the ping-pong stops and for a brief moment it will become dark. Then there will be thoughts again. Concepts without substance. Nothing to hold on too. Me generating make believe energy in a make believe world. That's why darkness is so cool. Through all this shit called 'life' Darkness is the only constant factor. So where do I find self trust? Out there with some God or deity. Or could it be I'm overlooking the authority called Darkness that's observing patiently from deep inside? Do I have a choice? Can I let go of 'me' as what I think I am. Do I dare to face the darkness?

Being submerged in thoughts loosing myself. Stopping myself, breathing and bringing myself 'here'. Time and time again. Falling, followed by self-Judgement and shame. Repeating cycles of failure as time is ticking. Even judging time as 'dead-lines'. The more afraid I become of the future the harder it get's to move on. The experience of sharing myself, is horribly confronting and painfully embarrassing. Seeing myself and not being able to laugh about my fuckups. Taking myself way too seriously. Giving in to embarrassment. I my Ego wearing the mask of Grim Reaper scaring myself into 'shame and regret'. Great disguise Grim! Every hour every day I catch myself falling into these holographic traps made of thoughts. The blinding light of thoughts.

At least Darkness cut's the crap and shows me where it's at. I'm either here and aware or I'm again lost within the pictures as my thoughts firing like a Gatling gun. Fear of the dark is the ultimate fear of facing myself here as the unknown. I don't wan't to remain scared in the dark as noting. That's why I walk this process. The only reality I find acceptable is a reality where we all share the darkness with no fear. A reality where equality rules. I'm often scared we are not going to make it that far (Oops, afraid of the dark again).