In holland when a boy and a girl decide to 'go steady' they often state:
"het is aan" (it's on).
It's like both decide that the product is 'branded' good enough to be marketed and sold to the public. Growing up this 'being on' became 'I am in a relationship'. Within that the people around me would then ask if I was 'going steady?'. In other words, do you fuck around or not? Either way it shows we have a hard time determining what a relationship is in the first place. It ranges from 'we are madly in love' to 'being fuck buddies to 'we fuck each other up'. Whatever name we give this dependency upon being with someone, It clearly needs to have a label! People apparently need to be able to tell other people what sex symbol it is I am involved inn.
In this world based on pictures as labels you produce a code for everything you do and are involved inn. And because we spend most of our time with other people that's where the most labels are printed. I am alone, homosexual, active inactive, related unrelated, heterosexual, married within an open relationship able to fuck around or as Facebook states "it's complicated".
If the above is true or false doesn't even matter. Fore all I know I could be secretly spanking elderly women in my basement. If I confirm to the archetype picture of being financially stable and in a steady relationship preferable with a beautiful 'intelligent' woman, everything around me will become kind of fluid and mellow. Is that how it's supposed to be? Is this where we 'think' we feel most comfortable. Is that how it's supposed to be? Looking at the animals it makes perfect sense.
I have been in and out relationships enough to know what happens as we go through the phases. Very soon after entering the initial stages I will stop questioning the world around me for the larger part. Who benefits from the fact I do this? Why is it that most women suddenly have a child wish? Why do men fear this? Why is it that relationships are often labeled as 'hard work' and 'compromise'. That you have to endure and to give and take. Be solid as a rock, celebrating 25 years of marriage. Why do I have to congratulate people with 25 years of marriage? Did they sacrifice a lim to the gods or something? What is it they did I have to salute? They got married and it was their own choice to voluntarily do so in the first place. Do I send my best wishes to Apple after they successfully merge with Microsoft? What the fuck am I missing?
Isn't it strange? Placing myself completely outside this turmoil and the first thing I notice is loneliness! Like being in a spaceship cirkling the globe. In my life the moment I was not in a relationship my mind would start projecting the perspective of being in one instantaneous. So are relationships addictions? Do I ad myself on to some thing. Am I the ad on.
I can distract myself from this point with other substance like drugs or sports or whatever habit would distract me from my secret mind that is constantly urging me to look at and react to every fuckable person I see. This will not resolve itself. I have accepted and allowed myself to become part of the big pool of sex and relationships in this world.
Amongst other things I was talking about this stuff with someone and within this conversation the person related to her situation where she wanted to be 'exclusive' with a person. For me this was just another way of her saying she wanted to 'go steady' with whatever exclusive fuck it may be. The word exclusive didn't hit me until later as I started to ponder on it. Why not call it 'a lover', 'a fucker', 'a buddy? Why ask a person to be 'exclusive'? Why do I want a person to be exclusive?
exclusive |ikˈskloōsiv|
adjective
1 excluding or not admitting other things : my exclusive focus is on San Antonio issues.
• unable to exist or be true if something else exists or is true : these approaches are not exclusive; many students will combine them | mutually exclusive political views.
• (of terms) excluding all but what is specified.
2 restricted or limited to the person, group, or area concerned : the couple had exclusive possession of the condo | the jaguar and puma are exclusive to the New World.
• (of an item or story) not published or broadcast elsewhere : an exclusive interview.
• (of a commodity) not obtainable elsewhere : exclusive designer jewelry.
3 catering or available to only a few, select persons; high class and expensive : an exclusive Georgetown neighborhood.
4 [ predic. ] ( exclusive of) not including; excepting : prices are exclusive of tax and delivery.
noun
an item or story published or broadcast by only one source.
DERIVATIVES
exclusiveness noun
exclusivity |ˌekskloōˈsivitē| noun
ORIGIN late 15th cent. (as a noun denoting something that excludes or causes exclusion): from medieval Latin exclusivus, from Latin excludere ‘shut out’ (see exclude ).
Fascinating
My professional background is advertising and marketing so for me the word 'exclusive' is connected to value. From my perspective more exclusive means more expensive. In business exclusivity agreements strengthen certain business relationships at the exclusion of others. Frequently a company that's strong in its sector will contract with a crucial part of its supply chain, or team up with a powerful player in another market, to create dominance within a certain territory. In any event, exclusivity agreements help the predators establish a 'territory' and kill more prey. It's the capitalists playing nice with the system. The same system where it's very convenient for 'the exclusive' that the masses behave like wildebeest in a herd. Let's look at this from a few business models/perspectives as in relationships. First up there is:
Identification
An exclusivity agreement as a contract between two or more entities to exclusively deal with each other regarding a specific area of business. It usually doesn't establish a relationship between two businesses, but rather takes it to the next level of commitment. An exclusivity agreement can also exist between two people in regard to some sort of business intercourse they will share together.
Features
The essential feature of an exclusivity agreement is the covenant to not engage in a particular business activity with other parties for a specified period of time. The agreement usually restricts only one of the parties. This typically occurs in vertical buyer/seller relationship where a buyer agrees to buy exclusively from the seller. Or a manufacturer could agree to ship its products through only a certain distributor. Less common is the bilateral agreement that puts conditions on both parties.
Types
In addition to buyer/seller relationships, exclusivity agreements sometimes come into play during business acquisitions. Because there can be heated competition and competing bids for a company, an acquiring company that makes progress in negotiations can have its target sign an exclusivity agreement preventing it from entertaining other offers from competitors. Individuals may enter into an exclusivity agreement when they agree to list their house exclusively with a real estate agency.
Function
Exclusivity agreements create stability in a business relationship, which in turn provides predictability. The ability to foresee future costs and project business relationships is crucial to operating a large company. An exclusivity agreement shuts out competition, which tends to let costs stabilize and allows for a confident and efficient allocation of noncapital resources.
Considerations
Within an exclusivity agreement there may be other terms, such as confidentiality, access to relevant data and conditions for termination. Once two businesses get in bed together, they may become privy to information about each other that could be valuable to the competition. But, at the same time, a certain level of cooperation might be necessary to maximize the synergy of the two companies. The exclusivity agreement can be tailored to the needs of the moment as well as future inevitabilities. Sometimes the agreement can be broken at any time, but with a penalty. In other cases it might be periodically renegotiated, or terminated upon certain conditions.
This is how I see where this is going. It will be business as usual unless I make my starting point one and equal within what is best for all. The practical point to walk would be an equality agreement within an unequal reality. Which is impossible. So at this point in space and time within a 'relationship' it would require two people to live two lives in space and time. One would be equal with one another. The other would require a definition and a spot where one would walk within the territory of predators in complete separation.
From all these perspectives and my experiences from the past I can only keep reminding myself to see reality as all of us struggling to be exclusive within standard fucknesslessness.
