Day-029-Another day stated

Frustration as the consequence of stress is when I allow stress and that leads to me being ineffective in whatever it is I am doing because it's not me that is in control. Instead my self sabotage is doing so within and as the stress I allow to become. It's my reactions to the backchat of self diminishment and failure. 
Like in the moment where I have simply way too much on my plate and I didn't step on the brakes. I also wasn't as effective in my self management as I could have been. I lost 'valuable' time. Time is money. My parents have planned this midweek trip to Berlin for the whole family. Under 'normal' circumstances I would be really cool with this but now I find myself here within the situation where I made a mistake and my planning went down the drain and bam there is the friction of stress as frustration. Suddenly I see where I failed to plan sufficiently and realistically. The person who would watch my dog says he's not available for the full 100% so that cost me half a day to reorganize. On top of that it will cost me 50 euro's to get my dog in a 'good' place for the days to come. That lead to an extra vaccination for the dog thus a trip to the vet which was another 3 hours. So almost a day of unplanned activity had to be squeezed into a timeframe of 3 days I had to finish a job. Even writing this blofg fills me with stress because I have to get the shit done. Thus I have been working late and becoming very tired. Tiredness with me often leads to instability where I allow myself to be even more overwhelmed and ruled by my own energetics and getting out of bed like an energized zombie where the stress hit's me as the backchat the moment I open my eyes.Because of that outflow I again find myself within the experience of stress and frustration. I'm now rushing to get things done. My breathing is higher, I'm not relaxed and I allow this tension to lock up my body making the whole experience one of mental and physical torture for myself.Stress caused me to freeze caused me to not take on what was there caused chaos caused more to manage and within seeing myself like this is the projection of failure towards myself as lack of professionalism. I'm judging myself as not directing myself effectively and within the suppression of emotions that I connect to failure as self pity is the energy produced by the friction of stress as the outflow or my allowance of frustration because I'm not succeeding or producing results in a reality that is build on that construct completely. I'm rubbing against the system and within that It's okay to be frustrated. Everyone has it once in a while. Be positive, drink a few drinks, have a good time and get on with it. Not realizing I'm simply time looping into the next trap of stress and frustration because I'm not changing methods within the way I approach my reality effectively It feels like it's not working that my my efforts are 'in vain' while in fact it's simply me allowing myself to accept failure as an option. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am who I am within the way I handle myself within and as the energetics of stress and the outflow of stress within my reality as frustration and within that I forgive myself for not seeing realizing that it's within allowing myself to accept frustration as part of my reality I allow self sabotage to exist thus ineffectiveness to exist.