Day-009-Can I have some privacy?

At home realizing that although I'm alone I'm also part of a group and within that I see myself in my kitchen alone 'wanting/claiming/having my privacy'. I'm walking trough the house naked wondering what I would do if I would not be alone right now?

Would I behave differently? Would I take on a different personality. From that perspective what is 'privacy' more than claiming a space for myself away/separated from 'the rest'? An exclusive form of separation by creating the luxury article of privacy for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to act like a junkie thinking I can escape the horrors of reality by having a moment for myself, a moment of privacy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that there is no escape from reality within and as privacy, seeing realizing and understanding that there is no privacy within birth, illness and death thus my privacy is my participation within and projection of me unto this world as the creator of privacy as separation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that by living privacy I separate myself from the rest as a private not sharing myself my emotions, feelings, insights and realizations thus excluding/separating myself from the rest by wanting more than others as privacy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize see and understand that when I claim/occupy a (private) space I take space instead of give space.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress my feelings of shame, frustration, anger and guilt for not living the realization that keeping something for myself as privacy is steeling from the rest and within that context I see I have never given as I would have liked to receive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sorry for myself when others got something and I did not, realizing and understanding that I have never given the way I would have liked to receive because I always wanted my own private part within and as victory, to 'take' the win no matter what by manipulating everything and everyone within and as my kingdom of privacy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take on private personalities within and as privacy realizing seeing and understanding that by doing so I allow myself to create multiple separated personalities as different levels of privacy I project unto or believe to exist within this world and by doing so create points of separation between myself and reality as these private personalities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing privacy to exist within and as me, becoming the dictator of my own privacy as the creator of separation within this world as the gap between those that can build walls to separate themselves from those unable to escape the horrors of daily reality within this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I have the right to privacy as the right to not be disturbed, not seeing realizing and understanding that it is me as my mind that is wanting the exclusive right to manipulate me within the seclusion of my privacy, seeing and understanding that within this point 'my' privacy becomes my own bribery.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that within the point of privacy I have the right to do what I want when I want it, seeing realizing and understanding that what I allow to happen is a full on ego-trip at the cost of others where I choose to replace reality with 'my privacy'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see realize and understand that the concept of privacy is an addiction to self interest where I choose to distract myself and avoid the rawness of me within and as the creator of privacy as separation

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that no matter how high I build the walls of privacy around me, the certainty of reality will always be on the other side showing me how I separated myself within and as privacy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to escape reality and seclude myself within and as privacy where I claim the right for me to see only as I want at the cost of all others. Lost within an ego-trip where I can see and do all things my way.

I commit myself to correct myself within these moments of self defeat and stop whining about my right to privacy seeing, realizing and understanding that it's me wanting to close my eyes and not take responsibility for what I have created in this world through participating within privacy.

I commit myself to investigate, identify, expose within and as myself the constructs of privacy where I accept and allow myself to go private, seeing realizing and understanding that through exposing my points of privacy I expose within me the points of not taking self responsibility for the fact I am part of a group.