Over the last few days I felt illness manifesting inside my body. I felt increasingly weaker, couldn't concentrate well. I got a sore throat and nose. A tooth pain developed that crawled up behind my nose and right eye which became a permanent headache. It was weekend so I didn't make a great deal out of it thinking it could be anything. The pollen in the air, a stress release. However as the days past I allowed myself to become more and more unstable and somewhere down the line I felt fear.
I see myself lying in bed on painkillers with this pain in the background waiting till the drugs wear of. I see myself wondering if the pain will be gone by the time I have to get back to work because I will not be able to do my work in this condition. At this point I see myself lying in bed sick making projections about the future out of fear related to work thus money.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make projections about the future while being in bed feeling sick.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear pain connected to being ill
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear feeling physically uncomfortable
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being unstable and unfocused caused by physical illness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect weakness to illness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect the ability to concentrate to being healthy
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make projections about the future out of fear because of being ill instead of standing one and equal with my physical discomfort breathing and allowing the pain to tell it's story.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge being ill as a mind trick to procrastinated jobs at hand
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