The big illusion of love.

24 11 2010
“It’s like someone is camping in your head”

J was right. “I will fall”. And I fell. There was no escaping it. Had to face it all. And it all had to come back. Point after point. I see an image of a woman, turns into s*x. Then my mind starts to amplify things even adding more images to the orgy. Same with weed. It’s like looking at my myself as the dumbest f*ck I’ve ever seen. And this is where I judge myself very heavily. Everything gets judged and I lock myself up. So there it is. Women, relationships, s*x, fetish, masturbation and addiction. A single picture is enough to reset the whole thing. Back to zero. I can say I was able to surpress my addictions for a certain amount of time, Hura. Being selfhonest about and transforming them is a different story. I came nowhere near confronting myself as self in this matter. Didn’t write so it was all in the head, big mindfuck. Got sick and scared of myself. This urge to be with someone. To escape into this nightmare of love and cosiness.

It feels like I’m being watched. And that would be me watching at the same time. Mister knowitall judging away at himself. Completely lost, empty and scared. Looking at what I have become. A dreamy human being especially in my actions. And this brings so much shame and guild. I know I have a choice but I also know that this choice has to be made over and over again. Into infinity untill I stand. The thoughts I have about this continuous confrontation with myself often triggers a flight-attack and that is where my addiction points and myself meet. That is where mister knowitall has to become mister doitall. J is right I’m slow very slow. I’m really scared because of what is happening to me right now. Never felt so alone and lost at the same time. No structure, no motivation and a lot of self judgement. I must accept that I’m not this hyper talking boy, I’m just as scared as the rest of us. When it comes to selfhonesty? I wouldn’t know where to start. I’m a human robot with an extremely fucked up operating system. At least I'm sure of that.

Illusion

So I must forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get addicted to pictures in this world
that I have accepted and allowed myself to Identify and program myself according to these pictures
that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my own pictures in the physical.
that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the pictures more important than reality.
that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore my-self-abuse
that I have accepted and allowed myself to blaim myself for being a coward in facing myself as self
that I have accepted and allowed myself to have lack of discipline.
that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop being really intimate with myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop being honest
that I have accepted and allowed myself to make up story’s to present a better ‘picture’ of myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie out of shame
that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel fear for the shame-system-demon-whatever.
that I have accepted and allowed myself to remove my s*xuality from the physical to the mental.
that I have accepted and allowed myself to become something I want to shake of as soon as possible.
that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep judging and to have judgement all the time.
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breath although that would have been the best thing to do
that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the urge of sharing these dark thoughts because of fear of being judged.
that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into this request of the ego to present ‘the perfect picture’.
that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep abusing myself and stopping the process of helping myself.
that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to drinking alcohol with a friend because that’s the routine.
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not act in the moment of being confronted with ‘stopping’ (points).
that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a situation where I have to start all-over again.


 All for now.

#iduaal #ideal #idoall

15 11 2010
Falling hard

I’m depressed. Lying in bed with a shitload of work to do. My body gave up on me yesterday. Everything hurts and I,m barely able to get out of bed. No fever just pain and a terrible headache. The last month I had a lot off work to do and in came some money. I thought I had my priorities straight and I was reasonably disciplined in my actions. I stopped writing because I thought I was too busy with my business responsibilities. Reading the material and at the same time working in the corporate world was an utterly schizophrenic situation. I got kind of lost, no anchors. Being in a car for an hour driving up to a client. Trying to breath trough it all. Not being able to stabilize myself and taking this state with me in my work was frightening. I got very insecure about my overall ability to deal with myself.

I find balancing the destini material and my ‘daily life’ hard as hell. Reality doesn’t change but it sure hit’s hard sometimes. I’m not standing equal, I’m not applying self forgiveness, didn’t write wen it was necessary. This accumulated into the present state I’m in I think. A lot of information got stored which I did not act upon. I’ve been smoking weed on a daily bases for more than twenty years. After reading the Desteni article about weed addiction. I quit three months ago. Fantastic. Hardly no problems or graving. But I still had four weedplants in the garden. I decided not to remove them because of the money they would bring in (money is a big issue for me). In holland it’s allowed to grow up to five plants for personal use. How wrong is this? Very wrong and definitively not best for all. So the moment came to harvest this shit and there I was cutting away in a blaze of THC gas. After I finished the first batch I cleaned my scissor of the accumulated oil and there I was holding this tiny ball of first grade exclusive hashoil. I didn’t even think about it. It was rolled into a paper and I smoked it.

The moment I have to stop is the moment I decide to go against the decision I made with myself. But I didn’t so I’m back to square one. Not only the weed came back full force. All addictions points started ranting again.

Former ‘relationships’, sex, women, friendships, children, work, working, being self supportive, self trust, motivation etc. A mindsoup and a massive depression in which I was doing everything the way I always did. At the same time I was extremely disappointed with myself. So ashamed I couldn’t honestly share what was happening and what I was doing. Human-being-no control. It’s just fucking hard for me at the moment. I’m not sad. I don’t feel like crying. I’m not mad or angry. I can’t describe the state I’m in. It hurts that’s for shure. It actually feels like torture. Self torture off coarse.

I’ve been looking for deeper meaning to this earthly existence for a very long time. Investigated yoga systems, read the books. I think it was the Secret doctrine by Helena Blavatsky that scared the crap out of me. It made kind of sense. But it didn’t convcince. It stayed in the abstract. I kind of gave up. Some mysteries simply remain. Desteni hit me like a hammer. After all I did, all I read, it simply made sense. It filled all the caps I had. But it wasn’t what I expected.

I’m struggling like I’ve never struggled before. I know how simple it is. Either I’ll make it or I won’t. And immediately my ego starts to intervene. Yo cannot give up. Got to win this. Get you re act together etc. It’s fear. It’s always fear.

I’m scared of not making it.

01 10 2010 Computer says no

Money, money, money.
Worked my ass off last week. Had to finish a videoproject. Half way through I checked with the client if everything was ok. It was, so I continued editing. Then I had this horrible thing with my hard disks being locked and I couldn’t access any files including other projects. In the mean time I was observing myself and I tried to breath through the stress. Had to work for nearly 48 hours straight to get the stuff done on deadline. So I managed to do this and although I was tired beyond belief, there was a sense of satisfaction. The first reaction from my client was positive. Which was a big relief because I’m financially drained to the last penny. I really need the money. This is where things start to get really fucked up.

Because of the peer pressure on generating income there is a permanent stress level in everything I do. It’s money, money, money. Must be funny. Well it ain’t funny. It sucks. Then I was in for a surprise. Got an email from the client stating that they where not satisfied with the end result of my work. So a no after a yes after a break to test where we stood in this project. So I’m of work and into disaster management. The contract was a ‘nocurenopay’ thing. And I had to write an extensive email to make my point. Another half day down the drain, my heart is pounding and I cannot breath.

This is 24 hours ago and I haven’t received a reply. It’s all nice and cosy with this guy until the money subject comes to the table. Than it’s down to business and the blaming game begins. I noticed that people start their emails with “Hi” when things are smooth and then switch to “Dear” when it comes to discussing problems. Anyway I’m so fucked up at the moment.

Introduction Course Desteni
Today the email regarding the Desteni ITD course came in and I took the necessary steps to apply. Don’t know how I’m going to pay for it because I’m financially drained. I applied for a job as a department manager at a callcenter. I got a call today and had a chat with one off their representatives. She was nice and had a positive feeling about our conversation. So let’s stand and see what that will bring. Meanwhile a project in Apeldoorn has restarted. Have to finish a brochure incuding photography in less than four days wich is bizarre to say the least. Got a bad ‘feeling’ about this.

Tracking progression
Must say that although on paper my life is a disaster, I’m actually quit centred and disciplined. Somehow I don’t flip like I used to do and I’m able to remain calm. I’m aware of my own actions most of the time. I’m feeling these points in my fingertips for a couple of weeks now. Not sure if it’s stress or awareness? Sleeping is a disaster. Because of the things I simply had to get done. My nights where short and very irregular. Falling a sleep was no issue because I simply fell into coma’s the moment I hit the mattress.

I’m observing and try to be as aware as the daily situation allows me to be. I’m working inside the Matrix so I must be there as the matrix otherwise it all goes ‘Kansas by by”. But it eat’s me. I feel locked inside a robot most of the time. It all makes sense but I’m not laughing my pants off if you know what I mean. Cant help feeling very lonely most of the time. I’m on an island. It seems that most things social come with spending money. I had to cancel my first evening out with friends in a long time because of money. 

I say friends but to be honest, what is there to share? It almost hurts to admit that there is not much left at the moment. My best friends daughter had a birthday last week so I visited with my daughter. I felt like an alien in between the people present. They all have steady jobs and “happy-lives” so who am I to... Had a couple of words with my friend. Asked him how he did and how the business was going. Great, extremely busy etc. I’m struggling with it. Not going to ask for help. Did it once and that definitively didn’t work.

If the main reason is money everything get’s fucked up. Then there is this time issue. He makes long days and complains he doesn’t have time. That’s because he has a yacht that consumes the bigger of his time. It’s so obvious. He is the “have” I am the “have not”. More the “Halve nut” actually. Because nearly everybody that knows me thinks I’m at least “strange”.

I'm talking about 'friends' here. At the same time I understand. They just can’t relate to me. Logical, It’s hard for me to relate to them. Common sense?

So am I drifting? Yes. Do I feel lonely? Yes. Is there pain? Yes. Is there depression? Yes. Am I still standing? Yes. 

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to get angry with clients knowing they play the ‘money fuck you game’

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel lonely

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel depressed

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel depended up on my clients

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel instead of observing ‘my’ feelings

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to yawn and not stop there in the moment and breath

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to get completely consumed by work

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel guilty for not sharing my process, ‘emotions’, deeper thoughts, with my best friend

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to disconnect socially in order to ‘get the jobs done’

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel sorry for myself

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be sad for not seeing my daughter as often as I would

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be frustrated and look at women as ‘pictures’

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to take time-out to reflect on the situation at hand

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to lie about my private life in order to keep up a good ‘business impression’

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to get lost in thoughts that are merely associations instead of logical equations

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel quilty writing this blogpost instead of getting the work done

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to to cook proper food for myself for lack of time

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear the stuff I have to learn during the introduction course

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to fully trust Desteni

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to think Desteni could be the best scheme ever invented

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to look at the equal money system figures from a business point of view

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel a bad father

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be in peace with not having to pay for child support

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel better off than other people

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel obligated towards my parents because they where so tolerant towards me

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be mad at my father for not teaching me discipline

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to have sex as a gift instead of fully participating in the physical act

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear blogging

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to open my blog to the public already

28 09 2010 Bloodtype

What Makes a 'Type O' an Individual?
Feeling tottaly stressed today. So dove into my bloodtype.

What makes Me Me and You You?

This is the question that is at the heart of the genetic puzzle. It is also central to our exploration of blood types. The key is genetic heritage - the story line of your life. Even though you are living in the 21st century, you share a common bond with your ancestors. The genetic information that resulted in their particular characteristics has been passed on to you.

People who are O blood type have a different set of characteristics than people who are Type B or Type A - they are susceptible to different diseases, they should eat different foods and exercise in a completely different manner. Some believe that personality is influenced by blood type! Dr. D'Adamo, author of the best selling books Eat Right for Your Type and Live Right for Your Type, among others, gives us a blueprint for living in his books. Read on to learn more about the Type O individual.

The Blood Type O Individualized Lifestyle

Why are some people plagued by poor health while others seem to live healthy, vital lives even late in life? Does blood type influence personality? A single drop of blood contains a biochemical make up as unique as your fingerprint. Your blood type is a key to unlocking the secrets to your biochemical individuality. Foods and supplements contain lectins that interact with your cells depending on your blood type. This explains why some nutrients which are beneficial to one blood type, may be harmful to the cells of another. Dr. Peter D’Adamo, the author of the best selling books Eat Right for Your Type and Live Right for Your Type gives Type O’s some tips on leading a healthy lifestyle.

The Type O Profile

Type O was the first blood type, the type O ancestral prototype was a canny, aggressive predator. Aspects of the Type O profile remain essential in every society even to this day – leadership, extroversion, energy and focus are among their best traits. Type O’s can be powerful and productive, however, when stressed Type O’s response can be one of anger, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. When Type O wiring gets crossed, as a result of a poor diet, lack of exercise, unhealthy behaviors or elevated stress levels, Type O’s are more vulnerable to negative metabolic effects, including insulin resistance, sluggish thyroid activity, and weight gain. When you customize your life to Type O’s strengths you can reap the benefits of your ancestry. Your genetic inheritance offers you the opportunity to be strong, lean, productive, long-lived and optimistic.

What Makes You Unique

As a Blood Type O you may be predisposed to certain illnesses, such as ulcers and thyroid disorders. In the 1950’s it was discovered that Type O’s had about twice the instances of ulcers of all kinds than the other blood types. These findings have been replicated many times since then. Type O’s tend to have low levels of thyroid hormone and often exhibit insufficient levels of iodine, a chemical element whose sole purpose is thyroid hormone regulation. This causes many side effects such as weight gain, fluid retention and fatigue. Dr. D’Adamo does not recommend iodine supplements, rather a diet rich in saltwater fish and kelp to help regulate the thyroid gland. Bladder Wrack is also an excellent nutrient for type O’s. This herb, actually a seaweed, is very effective as an aid to weight control for Type O’s. “The fucose in bladder wrack seems to help normalize the sluggish metabolic rate and produce weight loss in Type O’s,” says Dr. D’Adamo.

Type O’s also have a higher level of stomach acid than the other blood types, which often results in stomach irritation and ulcers. Dr. D’Adamo recommends a licorice preparation called DGL (de glycyrrhizinated licorice) which can reduce discomfort and aid healing. DGL protects the stomach lining in addition to protecting it from stomach acids. Avoid crude licorice preparations as they contain a component of the plant which can cause elevated blood pressure. This component has been removed in DGL. Dr. D'Adamo also recommends Mastic Gum and Bismuth to soothe Type O's common and even frequent tummy troubles.

Type O Personality?

In Japan, blood type has long been associated with personality type. You might well be asked your blood type on a job interview! In an independent study of 45 MBA students, Type O’s most often described themselves in ways related to the following characteristics; responsible, decisive, organized, objective, rule-conscious, and practical. Both male and female Type O’s reported a higher percentage of the mesomorphic body type when compared to controls. Interestingly, Type O’s also scored significantly higher than the rest in “sensing” – using the 5 senses to gather information, and in the sensing-thinking combination, indicating that they are more detail and fact oriented, logical, precise and orderly. “I believe that the tendency to sense and get facts right stems from the inbred hunter-gatherer need to observe and accurately assess the environment in order to insure survival.” Says D’Adamo.

Manage Your Type O Stress

The legacy of your Type O ancestry causes an immediate “fight or flight” response in people of this blood type. However, this finely tuned response to stress, so vital in early Type O’s, is not always so beneficial in modern times. The Type O response can cause bouts of excessive anger, temper tantrums, hyperactivity and even create a severe enough chemical imbalance to bring about a manic episode. Since there is a powerful, synergistic relationship between the release of dopamine and feelings of reward, Type O is more vulnerable to destructive behaviors when overly tired, depressed or bored. These can include gambling, sensation seeking, risk taking, substance abuse and impulsivity. To avoid becoming overstressed, Dr. D’Adamo recommends following the Type O diet, which focuses on lean, organic meats, vegetables and fruits and avoid wheat and dairy which can be triggers for digestive and health issues in Type O. Additionally, he suggests that Type O’s avoid caffeine and alcohol. Caffeine can be particularly harmful because of its tendency to raise adrenaline and noradrenaline, which are already high for Type O’s.

Energize - The Essential Exercise Component

Type O’s benefit tremendously from brisk regular exercise that taxes the cardiovascular and muscular skeletal system. But the benefit derived surpasses the goal of physical fitness. Type O also derives the benefit of a well timed chemical release system. The act of physical exercise releases a swarm of neurotransmitter activity that acts as a tonic for the entire system. The Type O who exercises regularly also has a better emotional response. You are more emotionally balanced as a result of well regulated, efficient chemical transport system. More than any other blood type, O’s rely on physical exercise to maintain physical health and emotional balance. Dr. D’Adamo suggests that Type O’s engage in regular physical activity three to four times per week. For best results, engage in aerobic activity for thirty to forty five minutes at least four times per week. If you are easily bored, choose two or three different exercises and vary your routine.

Live Right!

In addition to exercising and eating foods that are Right For Your Type, here are a few key lifestyle strategies for Type O individuals:
Develop clear plans for goals and tasks – annual, monthly, weekly, daily to avoid impulsivity.
Make lifestyle changes gradually, rather than trying to tackle everything at once.
Eat all meals, even snacks, seated at a table.
Chew slowly and put your fork down between bites of food.
Avoid making big decisions or spending money when stressed.
Do something physical when you feel anxious.
Engage in thirty to forty five minutes of aerobic exercise at least four times per week.
When you crave a pleasure releasing-substance (alcohol, tobacco, sugar), do something physical.


Dr. D’Adamo recommends that Type O, “Approach this program as a long term strategy. This is not a short term goal, rather a lifestyle that you adapt for a lifetime of health and well being. There is no doubt that there is a connection between the mind and the body. The knowledge that we can do something to change our genetic destiny is powerful.”

http://www.dadamo.com/bloodtype_O.htm

Fear and depression

28 09 2010 / 09:30

Money, frustration and fear
I’m typing this  post on my old laptop because I cannot work on my main computer. I’ve been working on a videoproject for 4 days now and it has to be finished tommorow. Couldn’t work through the weekend because my daughter was here. No problem because I had it all planned. Yesterday evening I finished the rough cuts of 8 videos for my client. I exported the files to mp4 format from I movie wich takes a long time. So during exporting I was looking into desteni posts on facebook. I don’t know wat happened exactly but after I returned back to I movie my disks where locked. Couldn’t acces any of my harddisks. I freaked. This means I couldn’t acces the projects the videos, everything was hidden. I rebooted the system from a backup disk. Didn’t help.

Fully posessed
This has to do with ‘disk-priviliges’ so I run disk emergency. It was 01.30. and the program told me it would take freaking 13 hrs. Nearly every file on my computer was corrupted. I kind of panicked. 13 hrs and I did not know If things would be fixed. So I took a few deep breaths and told myself to be patient and go to bed to get some sleep. Couldn’t do anything more than wait. I was in a mess. And it happened again. I allowed myself to masturbate without considering self honesty. Came 3 times. I felt so fucked up. And it hit me. Project-money-fear-frustration-anger. It’s always the same equation that triggers this masturbation thing. It disgusts me and at the same time I know I shouldn’t go there. Have to forgive myself and look at it as myself. I know I have to stop in the moment, Right there when the urge to give in is at it’s strongest. I couldn’t do it. So an addiction point. I’m so full of uncertainty and fear. it makes me sick. Didn’t sleep well.


As I got up the program said 1,5 days to restore...
I nearly fainted. 2 projects that have to be finished within 2 days. This can’t be happening. As I write this there is still no certainty if things will be fixed. And even if the disk privileges are restored will my disks be accessible? Then this has to be communicated with my clients who are anxiously awaiting results that where actually finished for presentation. There in front of me on a hardisk I cannot acces because a stupid combination of ones and zeros. Right now a mail comes inn from that other client that says he want’s his stuff tommorow. I’m dieing here. Fuck!

17.00 Reality doesn’t change
Program is still restoring disk privileges. Don’t know if it’s going to work. Improvised between the laptop and the main system today. My stomach feels like a melting pot and my fingers are tingling. It looks as if this could take at least 6 more hours, so it’s not going to get done today. Checked my bank account. It’s horrible. Applied for a job in a callcenter. Something has to be done. This week is killing me. Even if my clients pay in time (which they never do) there will be problems because I used my reserves to the last drop. Can’t take a full-time job because of these 2 lucrative projects I’m doing right now. Will have to ask my parents for help, promised myself I would never do that again. I’m getting really depressed right now. Could cry if it wasn’t so pathetic. I feel lost.

Last weekend I visited T His daughter was having a birthday party. Lot’s of people and I felt lost again. Discussions that went straight past me because I couldn’t adept to the small talk. So I observed and took deep breath’s. It felt really alien to me and it made me sad. I don’t want to feel sad. I know that emotion is not real but I felt it. I felt it when I dropped my daughter off at school on monday. She walked over the yard to the door and something just broke inside me. It’s depression it must be. Really tired, think I’m going to cry anyway.

04.25 
This is getting a rather long night. Found a data rescue program that allowed me to retrieve my data bypassing the diskprivileges. Got the movie files running again but no sound. So I will probably have another two hours of work. Tired.

08 04 2010 Eight steps

By: Bernard Poolman


We’ll have a talk about the 8 basic steps a person goes through in their process.
The steps are:

(1) The Self-Deceiver
Self-Deceivers are those that design deliberately, systems within which they have Complete Control and Benefit and where they trap people through the written word, legal word, into these systems and make sure that they believe it unquestionably, so that they remain in control of the System. So the Elite, Illuminati and so on, falls in the level of the Self-Deceiver - also those that write the religious books and get followers from that perspective, all within the realm of Self-Deceivers. They are presenting Humanity as an existent force that is “faulty,” and has no Opportunity or Means to Ever be anything more than “Completely Fucked.” Okay?

Then you get those that - the next step, which is, from there you move from Self-Deceiverto

(2) Self-Loser.
What is a Self-Loser? A Self-Loser is one that has gone to the Pinnacle of their Self-Deception – realized that they were just harming others in what they were doing, and then they “Give up” everything and they virtually become a beggar, and they collapse in the system completely. They then become a “Constant Loser,” they refuse to participate in anything, they withdraw from society, and they would at that stage, see themselves as incapable of ever “amounting to anything,” and simplistically either eventually moving on to the next stage or becoming completely demented and obviously die and have to do the next cycle.

The third step is the

(3) Self-Illusionist.
The Self-Illusioner is somebody that unquestioningly participates in the system according to what they’ve been taught by their parents. So if the parents was a Christian, they’re a Christian. They read their Bible. They do All the things that are required of them according to their education to be a “Good Person” in the System. They are not asking any questions. They accept the system and the world the way it is and the accept the position and the “where they are” in the world as it is, and they have no qualms with, they are very happy with it, they work within the System. They’re completely Self-Illusioners. That means, they cannot even perceive of the illusion at all.

Next ones are the

(4) Self-Delusioners.
These ones are actively participating in talking themselves into delusion. They use things like meditation, mantras, prayers, energy work and so on, where they Create their Own Delusion by Actively Participating in methods of creating delusion, and then they promote their illusion as their experience as if it was real. There you have your Charismatic Ones, your Light Workers, your Islamic –

Darryl: Gurus, basically.

Yeah, basically all those that are working towards a “Higher Position” away from the “Lower Position,” and thus creating a Greater Gap in the separation, and they are doing it deliberately and they call it their own “self-betterment.” They do not work for Perfection. They are making themselves “better.” “Better” than others. They do not Realize the Interconnectiveness of all things and how separation would influence everything through Polarity – and therefore, go to the Extreme point, because in that they are – it’s called in Afrikaans, “Self-heerlekken,” they are “self-realized” glorifying themselves. So your Light Workers or those that are moving towards that perspective of a “Greater Light” or “Ascension” and so on, that is a point they called Self-glorification, where you are Glorifying Yourself as God, when you are not that In Fact. You are not In Fact as That Perfection, you’re In Fact not living it, you’re not In Fact That Divinity but you Claim That Divinity – that is Self-Glorification. That is Great Deception. Okay? You’ve all seen that mentioned before.

Then... from there you move on to the point of the

(5) Self-Justifiers.
The Self-Justifier has to a degree have realized that there are certain things that is “Not Okay” in Reality. But they will justify their point of view because they’ll utilize reason, logic and so on, from the perspective of n Free Will and the fact that they have a Right to it because of all their previous experiences already they have built this idea about themselves and therefore they will justify their positions, and instead of building Groups of Strength that can bring a difference or correction in this world, they will specifically Justify how they will Divide groups. They will Justify why only Their View Is Right when their Point of View when Practically Applied will not be Best For All. But they will be Unwilling to embrace what is Best For All because they will Feel that they will Lose their Identity, because they don’t have enough Self-Value as who They Are. They require Some Form of Separation to have Identity, and that is obviously their Downfall and they will have Justifiable Reasons Why their Fear or Point of Separation is Valid according to them, and then go as far as saying, “I don’t care what You think about it, but this is Right for Me – and I will walk This, and I will give you the Same Right to Do This; not realizing in that you are separating everyone and in fact embracing the Very System from the Deceivers and the Losers and all the previous stages that are inherent in who you are.

From the Self-Justifiers, you then get at last to a point where a sense of forgiveness, of humbleness and a sense of Oneness is Realized. Understand that the Oneness within the Self-Justifier never embraces equality. The Oneness is the Oneness of the Self-Delusion. The Self-Delusioner move to the Self-Justifier where they claim the Oneness is a form of Uniqueness, as a form of Free Will. But that is delusional. The Self-Delusioners will be using things like the Law of Attraction, they will use Trancing, not realizing that whenever you Trance, You Are Possessed! I mean, that is what a Trance mean! Something takes you Over of an Energetic Nature and you have Created It Yourself – therefore, you have created a Trance.

Matti: “It’s like a Self-Sovereignty.”

Yes.

Matti:“That Oneness.”

Yes. Okay. So when you get to – from the Justifier, you move to the

(6) Self-Realizers.
A Self-Realizer is somebody that is starting to realize that there is a Problem and that they have to do Self-Correction. And they will be using Self-Forgiveness and Self-Honesty extensively from the perspective of Walking Backwards In Their Life and reassessing existence and their lives by doing everything in reverse, and thus doing correction. They are not yet at the stage where they will start looking at Perfecting Themselves, they are still just Correcting Themselves. Therefore they are Still Building Self-Trust, Self-Trust is not yet existent, but they realize it’s gonna be a Process and they are walk that process. The Self-Realizers is the ones that will Walk the process of the 7 Year Process – that’s your 7 Year Process.

From the Self-Realizers you go to the

(7) Self-Perfecters.
The Self-Perfecters have reached the Point of Nothing. They have reached the Point from the Perspective of Being Here As Breath and now they are starting to Direct Themselves in their practical, active Participation in this world with Very Clear Principles which they Stand By, No Matter What. That stage, the Self-Perfecters you’re now starting to Apply Equality within Self-Perfection in your Daily Life and you are now starting to understand Your Role you play within Creation and how it Plays Out and how Within Limitation can Be Perfect within and as Breath.

Once you’ve got that Clearly, cuz that’s still Labor, you have to Labor to do it, you have to Program to do it, you have to Become it. You’re still in Process, the level of the Self-Perfectors. Once that is Done, you come to the final point existent in this Reality, which is

(8) Self-Here. 
Then you’re just Here and you are able to Move Between All of the Dimensions that is existent Without Any Effort. Okay?

So, this is the Stages One can Define to Assist you when you are Dealing with somebody to See Where They Are and when you Know where they are, How To Approach Supporting them in their process using Common Sense, using Self-Honesty and using the Principle of the Eventual Self-Perfection that Must Come after Self-Correction and Self-Realization.

Makes Sense?

Veno - Self Forgiveness - Male Ego

As transcribed and typed by Veno through the interdimensional portal
28 10 2007

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define myself according to the ego of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I am the ego of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to utilize the ego of the mind to define myself as to hide the insecurities, fear and inferiority I experience within me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that the Ego of the mind is the polarity manifestation of the mind as superiority to hide and cover the inferiority and insecurity I actually experience inside myself but don’t want anyone to see or notice through fear that they may judge me if they were to see me.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to present a deceptive presentation of myself as the ego of the mind, through presenting myself as being superior, so other may think and believe that I am the man, that I am strong and that I do not fear.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind because it was the only way I knew how to stand and become a man, to show to everyone else in my world that I am the strong and independent man.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that only the ego of the mind will seek revenge, will seek fights, will seek conflict to reassert and generate and compound itself within me as me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that participation in the ego and as the ego is addictive

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to copy the ego manifestation from my father, because I saw my father as the example of me, whom I idolized and I wanted to be just like him – thus – I became the ego to become my father so he may be proud of me.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind, to use the ego of the mind as a defense and protection of myself through becoming the presentation of superiority so that no one may think that they have the ability to fuck with ME.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to experience a sense of pleasure, a sense of satisfaction, a sense of power when accessing in becoming the ego of the mind as me.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define the ego of the mind as power

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind to feel powerful, to feel strong and to feel indestructible – to be certain that no-one or nothing can fuck with me in any way.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I am not the ego of the mind

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I need the ego of the mind to protect myself, to defend myself and to protect and defend others

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that the ego of the mind enjoys conflict, fighting and arguments and thus will always attempt/try to get involved within such situations – to step forth and say: Here I am, this is the ego – come try and fuck with me and I’ll show you who I am.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I need the ego of the mind to be strong

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself accept and believe that I need the ego of the mind to be powerful

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to actually think and believe that by coming the ego of the mind, presenting the deception to others of me being superior will actually protect me in defense

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I have accepted and allowed myself to become, be and participate as the ego of the mind within the experience of myself in this world

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that the ego of the mind always desires, wants and needs fighting, conflict and arguments to generate itself within me as me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that the ego of the mind is generated through anger, frustration and hatred and will seek and search and get involved in situations / scenarios to instigate anger, frustration and hatred within me to generate itself with.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that ego is the echo of the mind – the ‘lost’ ‘part’ of me I have separated myself from – becoming the demon within me existing off the generation and instigation of anger, frustration and hatred

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that the ego of the mind is the representation of the demon within me – the ‘part’ of me that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from because I could not imagine such a ‘thing’ to exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to split me from myself within me – manifesting the demon as the ego of the mind.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that inferiority is actually: In fear and horror – in fear and horror of facing myself, in fear and horror of myself – in fear and horror of the demon I have accepted and allowed myself to become as the ego of the mind

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to use the ego of the mind to manipulate situations to have it be: My way

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that when the ‘ego is bruised’ – the ego will feel ‘pumped’ and ‘wired’ to go back to the situation that caused the ego bruising to once again assert itself, re-generate itself to say: I am here look at me, look at what I can do

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that only the ego will want to fight and set the record straight through conflicts and arguments

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I have manifested and designed this ego within me as me because I haven’t accepted myself within and as oneness and equality as who I am

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I am responsible for my own actions and words in any given moment

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to cover up and hide my inferiority (fear and horror for myself) and uncertainty with ego as superiority

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to want, need and desire to be stronger and more powerful than others to sort out and give direction to situations – and in this want, need and desire I have manifested the ego of the mind because I believed myself as who I am to be too weak

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear weakness

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that weakness exist

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to play the polarity friction game of the mind by becoming superiority and hiding inferiority and uncertainty within me as me

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that the ego of the mind exist of suppressed anger within me – which has manifested as the ego of the mind – the demon that has become me

I forgive myself that I have allowed my suppressed anger to manifest as the ego of the mind – to exert out and express out on other human beings, situations and scenarios separate from me – instead of me applying self forgiveness for releasing the anger within me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I search and seek other human beings, situations and scenarios within which to exert this suppressed anger within me separate from my by becoming the ego of the mind

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I will instigate situations and scenarios deliberately to exert the suppressed anger within me out on others separate from me – by becoming the ego of the mind

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I use the ego of the mind to get attention from other human beings – to be noticed by other human beings in any and all means possible – because I haven’t accepted myself as who I am

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to use the ego of the mind in justifying actions, acts, reactions and responses to certain specific human beings, situations and scenarios – to be acceptable and okay as a cause and reason for wanting, desiring and needing to do what is apparently necessary to be done.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to use justifications, reasons and excuses to become and act and respond and react to certain specific scenarios, situations and other human beings – from within and as the ego of the mind – to fuel and compound the hunger to experience the sense of power, importance and control

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to use the ego of the mind, in becoming this to attempt and try to control a certain specific situation/even t/circumstance.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I derive power from the ego of the mind to have control of a situation – to have it go ‘my way’

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that in becoming the ego of the mind – I am ‘one of the guys’

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that in becoming the ego of the mind – I will attract woman

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind – to ‘fit in’ with society of men – because to be a man – you must have an ego

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to establish myself as the ego of the mind within and of this world – because I believed and thought – that for a man to be a man in this world – especially to survive – the man need an ego to protect himself with

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I’m too shit scared of self intimacy and being intimate with another – that I become the ego of the mind – to not experience myself in any way whatsoever – but to be a man – a man defined within and of this world – the unified consciousness field

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to use the ego of the mind to ensure that no-one and nothing can hurt me in any way whatsoever – not emotionally or even to feel in any way whatsoever

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that having an ego is being strong and powerful – a man

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that when I am the ego of the mind – I have control and power over, within and of my world and everyone and everything in it – and nothing can or may influence or change anything without my permission as the ego of the mind

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind through fear of spinning out of control and not knowing what to do

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind – because the ego of the mind apparently always knows what to do

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear being without the ego of the mind – through fear of losing me and being labeled as a wimp or chicken shit if I do not act, react, respond within and as the ego of the mind

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that if I am not the ego of the mind – I am inferior, chicken shit, a wimp, a loser, a nothing, a nerd

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that superiority cannot exist without inferiority – to stop the ego – I must realise that both polarities of the mind as inferiority and superiority are illusionary manifestations of the mind – I have defined as who I am

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to just want to be ‘one of the guys’

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind to be accepted and noticed by others and woman because I haven’t accepted myself as who I am as the breath of life

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that impatience is the trait of the ego of the mind – because the ego of the mind wants it and it wants it now

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that woman like and want a man with an ego – a massive ego – who is presenting a deceptive presentation of superiority – oozing confidence and certainty

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become the ego of the mind to attract woman for sexual pleasure

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define the ego of the mind as confidence – because I haven’t accepted confidence as me as who I am

The Quantum Mind and The Number of God

By Bernard Poolman
20 April 2010

Okay we’re discussing ‘Quantum Mind’ and the ‘System’ that was ‘Designed’ to Manage the ‘Interaction’ between the ‘Mind’ and the ‘Physical’, that manage the ‘Relationships’ between the ‘Physical’ and the ‘Mind’, you’ll ‘Notice’ an interesting-thing is that what you…

When you are ‘Born’ in-‘essence’ you are Unable to ‘Speak’ any language, you’re Unable to ‘Think’, and you are Unable to ‘Move the Physical Body’ –if you look at an ‘Animal’ within 24 hours the Animal will walk by itself, eat by itself, everything the Human is ‘Unable’ to do that, but the Animal is ‘Able’ to ‘do’-that.

That doesn’t mean that the ‘Human’ were ‘Always’ ‘Unable’, or were ‘Always’ that ‘weak’, it only means there is something else at ‘work’-here in ‘How’ the Human ‘Develop’ –and, in that, what ‘plays a role’ within-that is your ‘Structural Resonance Alignment’, your ‘Structural Resonance’ itself, what they have now found ‘Exist’, but they call-it ‘Epigenetics’, the ‘way’ things are ‘Transferred’ from Parent to Child, which is Not ‘only’ the DNA, it’s also ‘something-else’ –they’re at this stage only aware of its ‘existence’, they don’t know ‘how’-it exactly ‘work’ yet.

So, in the ‘Process’ years ago, we found a interesting thing.

‘Interdimensionally’ around the World, Every ‘Human Being’ was ‘plugged’-into ‘Gigantic Casinos’ –your whole-life was ‘Managed’ by a ‘Program’ just like in the Casino, and you were ‘basically’ just one of the ‘Pictures’ that is on a ‘Reel’ that ‘spins’ in the Casino, ‘seeking’ for your ‘Happiness’ – your ‘Pursuit of Happiness’ which is your ‘God’ which is the ‘Number 7’ –and it is ‘why’ the ‘Number 7’ plays a major-role in a ‘Casino’ and is normally linked-to ‘Jackpot’, and ‘Jackpot’ is normally linked-to your ‘Happiness’.

Now, obviously ‘As Above, So Below’ –‘As In, As Out’ –‘Similar’-type ‘Casino’-like ‘Structures’ were ‘Existent’ within the Physical Body, ‘regulating’ and ‘working’-with the Relationship between the ‘Physical’ and the ‘Mind’, which then would ‘Create’ a ‘Resonant’-‘Symbol’ which is similar to these ‘Symbols’ that is in the ‘Casinos’ –and, in ‘Creating’-these ‘Symbols’ you will be ‘Creating’ Your ‘Effectiveness’ in the ‘Matrix’ and in the World, and as you get more and more ‘Effective’, you will ‘Align’ the ‘Symbols’ similarly to a ‘Casino’-Machine –a one armed bandit – and until you have ‘Educated’-yourself according-to your ‘Effectiveness in the System’ to the ‘point’ where you can with a single ‘spin’ of your ‘Mind’, respond ‘Immediately’ with a ‘Jackpot’ –and therefore then you become apparently ‘Highly-Intelligent’ and very ‘Effective’ in your way in the World, and according-to ‘that’ ‘Effectiveness’, you now have ‘More Authority’ in the World –and is seen as a either a ‘Philosopher’ or ‘Philanthropist’ or a ‘Major-Player’ in one of the ‘Industries’ in the World ‘purely’ because: Your ‘Casino’ has been ‘Designed’ that way ‘inside’-you.

So, ‘Constantly’ as you are ‘Interacting’ with your ‘Environment’, the ‘Environment’ ‘Impulse’ the ‘Symbiology’ –the ‘Resonances’ within-you –that then ‘spins’ and ‘present’ to you in your ‘Mind’ a ‘Thought’ – You are Not ‘Thinking the Thought’, the ‘Thought’ is coming-from your ‘Pre-Programming’ which is a ‘Resonant-Design’ like a ‘Casino-System’ that ‘spins’ and look for the most ‘appropriate answer’, similar to Google when you put-in a ‘word’ and you ‘search’ and it brings-up all the ‘possible answers’ –exactly the same-way is How your ‘Resonance’ ‘Operate’.

So in-that ‘Resonance’ obviously you cannot even ‘remember’ ‘How’ You ‘Created-it’ –which is a major-‘problem’. So if you’ve ‘Allowed’ some of the ‘Resonances’ to become ‘Dysfunctional’ –that means: with ‘Secret Reasons’ for its existent ‘Existence’ for… and you are ‘hiding’ some ‘parts’ of your ‘Resonant-Design’ that only ‘comes-out’ in very specific ‘Environments’ – for instance you have a ‘Sexual Addiction’ that’ll only come-out at night after you had a few drinks, and you go to the local Prostitute ‘place’ –I mean, that is a ‘Resonant-Design’ which will ‘trigger’ according-to You going out with your ‘friends’, having a few ‘drinks’, keeping it all ‘secret’ from your wife, then go and have ‘Sex’ with a Prostitute, and then go home as if ‘nothing happened’ –because you have ‘Programmed’-yourself to ‘in-fact’ be able to ‘do’-that, but your ‘Design’ would be dependent-on ‘Environmental-Issues’ so, you will therefore ‘seek-out’ your ‘Entertainment’ as well to ‘place-yourself’ in an ‘Environment’ that will ‘apparently’ take-away ‘Your Choice’ –because you just can’t ‘Help’-yourself and you will go and ‘Embrace’ your ‘Sexual Experiences’ with the Prostitute based-on your ‘Design’ –that will normally be, have been ‘Programmed’ during your teenage years using Porn and Masturbation, where you’ve used the ‘Imagination’ –you’ll find in your ‘Masturbation’ you have ‘Repeated’ the same ‘Images’ over and over and over again, until the ‘Image’ becomes a ‘Resonant-Symbol’ that ‘Interacts’ ‘within’-you that becomes ‘part’-of your ‘Response to Environment’.

Therefore as long as you are Not in an ‘Environment’ that will ‘Activate’ the particular ‘one-armed bandit’ that’s going to ‘Produce’ for you the situation to have ‘Sex with a Prostitute’ = You’re quite ‘fine’ –the moment you ‘Enter the Environment’ – specific colors of ‘light’, specific types-of ‘darkness’, types-of ‘music’, types-of ‘people’, types-of ‘discussion’/’vocabulary’, your ‘Resonant’-‘Casino’ inside-you ‘spins’ to Produce to you ‘The Jackpot’ –which will be in this case ‘Sex with your Prostitute’ so that your Particular ‘Addiction’ can be ‘Completed’.

The ‘Problem’ is that the ‘Addiction’ is ‘Beyond Cure’, because you have ‘Designed’-Yourself ‘as’ this in a Permanent-‘Condition’ –the only ‘point’ that’ll probably ‘Cure’-you is a point of great ‘trauma’ like a ‘Disease’ or, you’re ‘married’, you ‘get-caught’ and you ‘lose your children’ and your marriage –something very ‘traumatic’ is the only ‘Cure’ then, is very seldom that one will be able to be ‘Cured’ from-it, anyone telling-you that they’ve ‘Cured’, they’ve ‘Stopped’… and they ‘still’ go-out ‘alone’ to with their ‘friends’ = they are definitely ‘Lying’, there is No way they can ‘Stop’ their behavior –once they’ve had a few drinks = They will ‘do-it’ again –anyway.

So, all of this what we’re talking about is the ‘Quantum Mind’ because this is happening ‘Immediately’, it is a ‘Quantum Occurrence’, there is No-‘Time’ as you understand-it ‘involved’ in-it.

The Moment you walk into a ‘room’ you have an ‘Immediate Impression’ of ‘All’-potentials that you, that is within the ‘context’ of your ‘Programmed Design’ ‘within’ the room, and you Immediately ‘Form an Opinion’ –the ‘Opinion’ that You are ‘Forming’ is your ‘Resonance’ that is ‘Impressing’ on-you your ‘Past Experiences’ and it gives-you a ‘Energetic’ ‘Signature-Presence’ to give you an ‘Impression’, and from the ‘Impression’ you will now be ‘Presented’-with ‘Thoughts’ by the ‘Resonance’ in terms-of ‘What you ‘Think’ about-it‘– you’ll either say: ‘Oh I like it’ or ‘I don’t like it’. All of-it Actually ‘Totally’ ‘Pre-Designed’.

And this is ‘Pre-Designed’ during the ages of your ‘Early’-Education. The ‘First’ ‘Seven-Years’ of your Education is your ‘Basic’ ‘Resonant-Design’ of your Interactions with ‘Environment’ and ‘People’ –and ‘Everyone’ and ‘Everything’ that ‘happens’ in your First ‘Seven-Years’, ‘form’ your ‘Interactive Ability’ with your ‘Environment’ and will have a major-‘effect’ on ‘How’ you will ‘Live your Life’.

Your ‘Next’ ‘Seven-years’ are very much ‘part’-of the ‘stage’ in-which you are ‘Learning ‘How’-to ‘Construct’-things’ –it’s a very much your ‘Relationship-Construction’ and your ‘Interaction’ with ‘stuff’/’things’ in the World, then goes into ‘You’ moving-it around, so it’s You Learning ‘How’-to ‘Direct’ and ‘make things’ in this ‘Reality’ depending-on what is in your ‘Environment’ there, you’ll be more ‘Physically’ Able to ‘do’-things, or more ‘Mentally’ able to ‘do’-things or you’ll be more ‘prone’ to be ‘Entertained by TV’ –all kinds-of things, it all depends on the ‘Input’ of your ‘Design’.

And then your ‘Third’ ‘Seven-Years’ going up to 21, is where your ‘Social-Skills’ will ‘develop’ and in-which you will ‘develop’ your ‘Basic Principle’ of ‘Win’ and ‘Lose’ within the ‘Casino-Game’ which is based-on your ‘Emotional-Skill’ where you’ll ‘Learn’ to ‘Win’, so that you can have the ‘Feeling’of: ‘Happiness’ –and therefore you will in your ‘Social-Skills’ develop the ‘ways’ to ‘Manipulate-others’ to Get-‘Energy’ from-them and you are ‘Always’ in a Relationship with another to Gain ‘Energy’ ,you are always ‘Choosing Words’ according-to what your ‘Resonance’ are ‘Presenting’ to you, so that you can ‘Hit the Jackpot’ with the ‘Answer’ you are giving because ‘You’re so fucking ‘clever’’ –and because of-‘that’, you’ll always end-up with ‘Gaining some ‘Energy’’ –and it is a ‘tacitly’ ‘Agreed’-point between ‘All Participants’, is that the ‘Winner’ Gets-‘Energy’ from the ‘Loser’ –it’s always like that –and the ‘Loser’ will keep-on ‘playing’ with somebody-else and try and get the ‘Energy’-back and so the ‘Energy’ ‘Circulates’ very similarly ‘after’ 21, that ‘Energy’ takes-on ‘another’ ‘Manifested Form’ as ‘Money’, then you start to ‘Prepare Yourself’ to ‘Play the ‘Same-Game’’ which is a ‘Social-Game’ in your ‘Business Realities’ –I mean the whole-‘point’ is that: All you ‘Understand’ according-to your ‘Design’ from ‘Birth’, on to 21 is that ‘the World ‘works’ this ‘way’’ –and if you don’t ‘Play the game’ = You’re going to ‘Lose’, and you do Not want-to ‘Lose’ because, if you ‘Lose’ = it doesn’t ‘Feel Good’ because that’s How you’ve ‘Programmed’-Yourself.

Okay, so –what is ‘more’ Fascinating about-it is that, at ‘all-times’, you will ‘Notice’ when you are ‘Thinking’ that means ‘Thoughts’ are being ‘Presented’ to you ‘by the Resonances’ –You ‘Calculate’ the ‘Risk’ of which one you’re going-to ‘Accept’ and which one ‘Not’. So you’re ‘Calculating’ the Possibility of ‘Winning’ or ‘Losing’ by the ‘Presented-Thought’ in ‘Relationship’-to your ‘Environment’ –if you find it’s Not ‘Effective’ Enough’ = You ‘Change’ the ‘Information’, ‘Change’-You accordingly, ‘Re-Insert’ the ‘Correction’ to your ‘Resonances’ and aut... ‘Your Resonance’ is the ‘Automated’-‘You’ and now you become ‘More-Effective’ in the ‘Same-Environment’.

The ‘Principle’ though ‘being’ that You at ‘all-times’ are ‘Calculating the Risk’ of your ‘Assessment’ that was ‘Presented’ by your ‘Resonance’.

What is ‘more’-interesting is that within-‘that’ we have ‘Designed’ ‘Machines’ –‘Machines’ that do exactly the same, it ‘Calculate the Risk’ according-to ‘Feedback Information’ in terms-of ‘What Cycle’ for instance, to ‘Use’ when it’s ‘running’. You’ll for instance have washing machines that ‘run’/’operate’ accordingly – you can according-to ‘weight’ and ‘heat’ and all kinds-of things ‘Set’-it to Make a Decision: ‘Which is the ‘Best-Program’ to ‘Run’’ –No-‘Different’ to the ‘Mind’, No-‘Different’ to the ‘Human’, the ‘Machine’ is simply ‘an Extension of the Human’, it is ‘in-Fact’ the ‘Human’ in ‘Operation’ in an ‘External-form’ –the same with your ‘Television Systems’ –is the same-‘way’ your Imagination ‘Operates’ within-you in terms-of ‘Producing’ to-you something to ‘Entertain’-you where you have ‘Freedom of Expression’ and You can decide ‘Who’-plays ‘What’-role within your ‘Imagination’ and ‘Who ‘You’ Are’ –and normally what happens in your Imagination? You ‘Always Wins’, I mean you ‘Always’-‘Win’ –and therefore, you’ve ‘Created’ the ‘same’-thing in ‘Hollywood’ and related-industries which is your Imagination ‘at-play’, but a ‘Physical-Manifestation’ of-it.

Obviously, because it ‘seems’ to-be ‘Free’ and that you can do ‘whatever you want’ in your Imagination, it’s seen as a ‘very important part’ and it ‘forms’ one of the ‘Foundation-Stones’ of the ‘Law of Attraction’: ‘Whatever you can ‘Think’ and ‘Imagine’, You can ‘Become’’ –I mean ‘Think’ and ‘Grow Rich’, what happens there? You are in that ‘Imagination’ ‘Re-Programming’ Your ‘Structural Resonance Design’ to ‘Win’ more often –and therefore you ‘seek-out’ the ‘weaknesses’ in all of those around-you and you ‘Program’-you to ‘Control’-them and ‘Manipulate’-them at ‘all-times’ and therefore will ‘seek’-out your ‘Friends’, your ‘Wife’, every ‘Business Partner’ according-to ‘Your Potential’ to ‘Win’ – and ‘those’ that are then in ‘Agreement’ with-you, because everybody ‘Agrees’ to take ‘part’ within this ‘Energetic-Exchange’ will have ‘their-ways’ of again like in a ‘Pyramid’, have ‘another’-group from-which they can ‘Siphon’-off ‘Energy’ so that they can have this ‘Mental-Imaginative ‘Experience’’ of ‘Apparent-Power’ and ‘Freedom’.

Now, fascinating is one can for instance look-at ‘Poker’, in ‘Poker’ have a ‘look’: You ‘Calculate’ the ‘odds’ according-to the cards ‘you-have’ and the cards that’s ‘on the table’. That’s exactly when you are busy discussing a ‘Business Agreement’ –you have ‘Your Cards’ – that means ‘what you know about what you want to ‘achieve’ in the Agreement’ –the other people is got ‘Their-Cards’ and then there’s the ‘Cards on the Table’, and within-that you will ‘Calculate your ‘Risk’ and everyone will ‘Calculate ‘Each-Others’ Risks’ and see ‘Who’s gonna fall ‘where’’, ‘Who is gonna be the Best-‘Bluffer’, ‘Who’ is gonna ‘Bluff the Best’ –the one that ‘Bluffs the Best’ =will get the ‘Agreement’ to be More ‘Beneficial’ for them and Everybody-else will ‘Agree’ because that’s the ‘Rules of Engagement’ –that’s ‘The Way the World ‘Works’’! –I mean, that ‘Bluffing’ ‘happens’ and Everybody knows there was ‘Deceptions’ but: ‘Everybody does it’ so Nobody ‘moans’ about-it, nobody ‘complains’ because ‘This is the Way the World ‘Works’’, it’s all a Fucking Lie!

What is Not a ‘Lie’ is that you’re Actually ‘Doing’-this. What is Not a ‘Lie’ that you are ‘Really-Here’ – What is a ‘Lie’ is the ‘Social-System’, the ‘Economic-System’, the ‘Interaction-System’, the ‘way’ one ‘Communicate’, the way one ‘Think’ –all of-that is ‘based’ on ‘Deception’ , on a ‘Lie’ which means: it makes you ‘Lie’ ‘all the time’ –if you look-at the Research, your on ‘Average’ Person ‘Lie’ three-times every ten-minutes, the Research is ‘Clear’ –you can go and ‘check’ –so don’t come and tell-me you don’t ‘do-it’, it’s ‘Everyone’ that’s ‘doing-it’, Everybody Lies!

Now what is ‘fascinating’ is we have ‘Re-arranged’ the ‘Inter-connectiveness’ of the ‘Mind’, yes now ‘two ways’ that this all ‘work’ – ‘Neuro-Linguistic Programming’ ‘Only’-works as a ‘Methodology’ within the ‘Lying-Construct’ –because, it ‘Cross-Reference’ Left and Right Brain with the ‘Physical’ – that is a ‘Mind Imprint’ on the ‘Physical’= it’s Not How it ‘Really Works’ – So you must look-at what Desteni say about ‘Eye Movement’.

The ‘Eye Movement’ once you are ‘Corrected’ ‘In the Physical’, is the ‘Reverse’ of what has been ‘Accepted’ – I mean we did this ‘years’-ago, we didn’t ‘say’ anything because: let’s see who can ‘get’ this point, ‘who’ Actually in any way has Any ‘Resolve’ to Become ‘Self-Honest’- or is everybody just ‘trying’-to ‘Play’ their ‘Mind-Games’ to ‘Win’. You all have a ‘Secret-Agenda’, the ‘Secret Mind’ is the ‘Secret Reason’ ‘Why’ you ‘do’-things, Why you will ‘Present’ things to the ‘World’, but you won’t Really ‘Stand up’.

That’s why ‘Writing’ is so ‘Important’ because in ‘Writing’, you ‘Reveal’ and State for sure that you are ‘Standing for Self-Honesty’ –if you are Not-‘Writing’, what do we All ‘Know’? And we’re now telling you: You are Fucking-‘Lying’ –your ‘Inability to Write’ is because you have a ‘Secret Agenda’, you are trying to Play a ‘Casino-Game’ – We Know you are ‘doing-it’, you’re going to ‘Lose’ because we’re Not ‘Playing the Game’.

So please understand: the ‘Tools’ are ‘Very-Specific’ to make-sure one can ‘trap’ the ‘Deceivers’ and the ‘Liars’ and ‘those’ that had ‘enough’ of this Game can ‘Stop’ and ‘Show’ to Everyone, they have ‘Stopped’ and ‘Take Control’ of the situation and No-longer ‘Play the Game’ –because otherwise, what are you doing? You are ‘Participating’ ‘only’ from the Perspective ‘to Get the Best Odds for Yourself’! You’re ‘Casting the Lot’, even ‘the Bible’ says: ‘Do Not ‘Cast the Lot’’ – but Every ‘Human-Being’ with Every-single ‘Thought’ you are having, are ‘Casting the Lot’, you are making a ‘Risk’-Assessment of your ‘Interaction’ within your ‘Environment’, within the ‘context’-of ‘What your ‘odds’ are to ‘Win’ in the situation’ or whether ‘you will Lose’ –and according-to that: You will ‘Act’, you Never ‘Act’ for any other reason but whether you will ‘Win’ or ‘Lose’.

The ‘Problem’ comes-in where you have ‘Accepted’ a ‘Belief-System’ as ‘True’ like ‘Christianity’ –then your ‘Casino’ is set-up like ‘Christianity’, and therefore you will Only ‘Interact’ with people that is ‘Playing the ‘Same-Game’ as you’ and therefore you will try-to ‘Always-Win’ within Your-‘Casino’, because you’re trying to ‘Own’ the bloody-thing by prescribing the ‘Rules’ of ‘How’-it ‘works’ within ‘Your-Reality’ –

The Only-way to ‘Solve this Problem’ is if there is Only ‘One Reality’ for Everyone and No-bloody ‘Casino’ where people try and ‘Win’ for themselves.

Please: If you are Not ‘Standing’ for ‘Equality’ for ‘All’ ‘Absolutely’, = You are Still ‘busy’ with the ‘Casino-Game’, you are ‘Still’ playing ‘Energy-Games’, you still haven’t got the Message in-spite of ‘How’ many people that is written about-it.

I mean, you go back to the ‘Celestian Prophecy’ talked about this ‘Energy-Games’ –what ‘happened’ from it? The whole bloody ‘New-Age Movement’ built a fucking ‘Business’ around-it, they created a ‘New-Casino’ – I mean: ‘Channels’, ‘Energy’, ‘Light’, it is a ‘show’ that Hollywood couldn’t have ‘thought-up’. And what… they become more ‘Participants’ ‘within’ the Actual ‘Imaginary-Design’ within themselves –it take a lot of ‘Meditation’ to get so ‘Mind-Fucked’ I mean, Really ‘Dedication’ –why do I say that? That is a ‘Real Dedicated’ ‘Process’ of ‘Programming’-Oneself to the stage where you become that ‘Entity’ that speak the ‘bullshit’ that it does.

If you start doing Actual ‘Research’ on ‘What- is the ‘Physical Implication’ of ‘Life’ and ‘Death’ and ‘How’ Everything-‘Functions’ = You would Not ‘waste your time’ on the Bullshit that is ‘just another Game’ for ‘Control’, ‘Power’ and ‘Money’ –

This is ‘Why’ we have Introduced ‘Equal Money’ because ‘Equal Money’ ‘Stop’ the ‘Reason’ for Anyone to ‘Play the Casino’ – so if you have a Problem with ‘Equal Money’ you know ‘why’, is because You ‘Believe’ You have ‘Control’ in ‘Your-Casino’, you know How-to play ‘Your-Game’, and you’re gonna have ‘all’ the ‘Number 7’s’ for You, You’ve got the ‘Jackpot’ – ‘Fuck-off! It was ‘My-Jackpot’’ – You are ‘Possessed’ by what you ‘Believe’ is ‘right’, without ‘Understanding’ How-it Actually ‘work’ –that is a ‘Serious’-Condition – No ‘Pill’ will ever ‘Help’-you –

You’re going to have to ‘Destroy the Pillars of your Temple’, because you’ve Lost your ‘Connection’ to ‘Life’ and have become ‘Purely’ an ‘Energetic’ ‘Existence’ –that is Not-‘Life’.

Now, understand that the Total-Existence as it now ‘Exist’ within ‘Machine’ a motor car, ‘Aeroplane’ and all kinds-of things, are ‘Representations’ of ‘Belief-Systems’ within the ‘Casino-Game’. The ‘Car’ Represents ‘The Soul’ – the ‘Aeroplanes’ and ‘Trains’ represents ‘Group-Souls’ – your associations where People ‘come-together’ and Discuss things of similar-‘interest’ are ‘Group-Souls’ –it’s all a ‘Physical Manifested’ thing, it’s all just ‘Vehicles’ –just like the ‘Soul’ and the ‘After-Life’, it’s just a ‘Vehicle’, it’s an ‘Energetic-Vehicle’, it doesn’t ‘last forever’, please! You are ‘As Above, So Below’ –whatever you ‘Believe’ = You have ‘Created’ in this World through your Participation, you have Created-it within the whole ‘Game’ of the ‘Casino’ so that You can ‘Win’ – you have ‘Always’ given-yourself the ‘Best-Odds’, you Never tell the Truth, you can Never Trust a ‘Human Being’ that Participate in the ‘World Casino-System’.

We have ‘Removed’ this ‘Casino-System’, all that now ‘remains’ is the ‘Way’ you ‘Participate’ in-it, the Actual ‘System’ that ‘Enforced’ this ‘Impulsing’ has been ‘Removed’ –what ‘Remains’ is ‘How’ you’re ‘Living-it’.

So ‘Hear’ what we are doing at Desteni: We are ‘Removing’ the ‘Pre-Programming’ but YOU have to do your ‘Own-Process’ of ‘Self-Honesty’, YOU have to Stop Your-‘Participation’ within the ‘Games’ you play and How you ‘Abuse’ this ‘World’ and ‘Each-Other’. There will be ‘No-Excuse’ because: There is ‘No-Systems’ –we are busy taking them ‘all’-out, ‘Physically’ – it’s not as ‘quick’ as in ‘Heaven’, ‘Heaven’ had ‘Quantum-Time’ –‘Here’ on Earth it works by ‘Time’, we have to take the thing-out ‘Physically’, at a ‘Universal Mind’ or ‘Unified Field Level’ at the ‘Universal Mind Level’/ ‘Unconscious Mind’, that which is the ‘Management System’ of the ‘World’ as it ‘Reflects’ the ‘World’ and ‘Yourself’ in Each-Other- that’s why ‘All’ within a ‘Limited’-‘System’ of ‘Senses’ are able to ‘See’ the ‘Same-thing’: You are ‘plugged’-into the Same-fucking ‘Program’! You have only a few-‘senses’, very-‘Limited’ ‘Frequency-Ranges’ and you ‘see’ and can understand Each-Other, because you are in the ‘Same-System’ I mean, Common-Sense!

I mean ‘How’ simple can it be? And have a ‘look’: Nobody even consider the ‘points’ that’s right in-front of you.

So, ‘Quantum-Mind’ –it is ‘Important’ to ‘Consider’ that: You have been ‘Deliberately Deceived’ into Deceiving Yourself and Each-Other – it is ‘Time’ to ‘Stop’ –

If You do Not ‘Stop’ = ‘the Game’ will continue, and in the ‘End’, like in any ‘Casino’: You ‘Always’-‘Lose’, ‘the Game’ Always-‘Win’ –if you’re playing long-enough in a ‘Casino’= You ‘Always’ end-up ‘Losing’.

http://desteni.co.za/a/interviews-from-the-farm-86-the-quantum-mind-and-the-number-of-god

Reminding myself

Veno: There’s two ‘types’ of questioning

1. When you have that experiencing/movement within you – of ‘there’s something gravely/greatly ‘wrong’ with this world – and you start questioning your reality – this questioning comes from within you as you and not of the mind – asking questions from the perspective of questioning your own reality – the ‘programming’ / ‘conditioning’ of your mind systems are beginning to fail and you’re ‘breaking free’ from the program. When you start questioning your reality – you move ‘beyond’ your fears and boundaries and allow yourself to explore and expand.

And you’re not always going to ‘like’ the answer you receive here – because you’re ‘out of’ the ‘program’ of the mind – and thus not everyone will always agree with the perspectives given.

2. When you start questioning from the perspective of confirming your own reality – this is of the mind. Confirming your fears, confirming your beliefs – because you’re manipulating to get answers that confirm your reality.

Getting my priorities straight

- Money-work-time
- Reading 'the material'
- Addiction points and patterns
- Blogging in english
- Srat January
- Workin on/towards agreement with J.
- Coming together in love as equality as one
- Our children
- Stabilizing myself within an agreement

So, there will be lots of questions to be answered. These issues cannot be adressed in weeks. They will have to be dealt with in time, in relation to insights within the nesseseary timeframe. Asking myself the right questions will speed up these processes significantly. The complexity of my 'proffesional' situation is the most stressfull influence at the moment. This has to be dealt with first.

The next coming week will be an important one as far as 'income' is concerned.
Have to do some serious 'matrix' action. Focus and be perfect in a proffesional sense. Asking the right questions applies here most definitly.

Going to take a shower now