Day 001-Fear of commitment

Yesterday as a group it was decided that from now on we will write a little everyday.

FROM NOW ON I WILL COMMIT MYSELF TO WRITE EVERYDAY, NO EXCUSES.

Is that realistic? Can I get this into a practical agreement with myself? Do I even dare to consider doing this. Damn it's scares me all ready. This is a great opportunity to expose myself more to others as I walk this process of birthing myself as life by sharing who I am as my mind as what I have accepted and allowed to become 'me'.

This point of willing myself comes with a lot of anxiety. I fear to commit myself to a task that will be there every day. A point that will confront me with the way I commit myself and lack there of. This time it will be visible to the public. No hiding so if I fail it will be a public fail. That's fear of being judged by others. There is shame, ego fear of failure. All those points open up within this single point of a daily commitment of sharing myself. I also fear that my words and the way they are placed are not 'good' enough. That I have to perform adding another pressure point to be managed in daily life that is sheer pressure as it is.

On the other hand this is a great opportunity to reveal the true nature of who I have become within those points. Points that exist within others as well. This could actually assist others as lot's of writings by fellow Destonians have assisted me greatly. Because this is a daily commitment it will show me acting or not acting within this agreement. Within these writings I will focus on one point during my day and apply Self forgiveness on that point. My first point is fear of commitment and this is a cool point because I wasn't consistent in my writings let alone my self forgiveness anyhow. So that's out. Giving into resistance is a major point to face for everyone. For me it 'feels' like the same resistance I had doing my homework as a kid. Looking for all possible ways to not do that daily shit and get it over with.

It's like Dr. Ferrari said; "Telling someone who procrastinates to buy a weekly planner is like telling someone with chronic depression to just cheer up". Well knowing that depression is just another form of procrastination as I accept and allow the mind to rule my emotions. I see it's time to address these points like I addressed other points in my life. It's time to pick up the pace and walk as 'we' walk.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear committing myself to this agreement of writing every day.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the future
I forgive myself for fearing myself within the point of self reflection as who I am within my actions
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear public reaction and opinion towards my writings
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to self sensor my writings in order to project a better image or picture presentation of myself within my writings.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear writing these self forgiveness statements knowing they will reveal the true nature of who I am and have become.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into resistance as tiredness seeing it's my mind instead of real physical tiredness